This Is How It Is

Eastern Wisdom

 zenhabits
breathe.

The Pause Upon Which All Else Relies
by Leo
9 Feb 2012 at 8:56am
Post written by Leo Babauta. There is one little habit I’ve learned that has changed everything else in my life. The pause. When we fail, it’s because we act on urges without thinking, without realizing it. We have the urge to eat junk, and we do it. We have the urge to check email instead [...]
The Thousand Cuts Fitness Program
by Leo
6 Feb 2012 at 10:43am
Post written by Leo Babauta. I’ve trained for marathons, triathlons, 10Ks, a 13.5-hour challenge, Ubanathlons, and more. But my favorite fitness program isn’t one where you train for a major event. It’s where you get fit by a thousand little actions. When the actions are tiny, they are easy. You have no excuse. You can [...]
The Two-Headed Beast of Successful Habit Change
by guest
2 Feb 2012 at 9:20am
Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Tyler Tervooren of Advanced Riskology. I used to have a lot of bad habits. I still do, but I used to have a lot more. Here?s just a small sampling: I woke up late and went to bed early. I procrastinated on my most important work. I [...]
Create the Habit of Meditation, & the Zen Habits Premium Membership
by Leo
31 Jan 2012 at 3:03pm
Post written by Leo Babauta. It’s something I should have created a long time ago: the Zen Habits Premium Membership, and a mini-course that’s included with it called Create the Habit of Meditation. The membership is a monthly subscription of $19.99, but really it’s a commitment to changing your life, and the tools needed to [...]
Creating Silence from Chaos
by Leo
27 Jan 2012 at 3:20pm
Post written by Leo Babauta. We are often afraid of silence, because its emptiness feels idle, boring, unproductive, and scary. And so we fill our lives with chaos, noise, clutter. But silence can be lovely, and therapeutic, and powerful. It can be the remedy for our stress and the habits that crush us. If we [...]
The Habits That Crush Us
by Leo
23 Jan 2012 at 11:26am
‘Don’t panic.’ ~Douglas Adams Post written by Leo Babauta. Why is it that we cannot break the bad habits that stand in our way, crushing our desires to live a healthy life, be fit, simplify, be happier? How is it that our best intentions are nearly always beaten? We want to be focused and productive, [...]
Learning to Sit Alone, in a Quiet Empty Room
by Leo
17 Jan 2012 at 1:49pm
‘All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.’ ~Blaise Pascal Post written by Leo Babauta. Think about some of the problems of our daily lives, and how many of them would be eased if we could learn to sit alone, in a quiet empty room, with contentment. If [...]
Life as a Conscious Practice
by Leo
13 Jan 2012 at 9:15am
‘Everything is practice.’ ~Pele Post written by Leo Babauta. When we learn a martial art, or ballet, or gymnastics, or soccer ? we consciously practice movements in a deliberate way, repeatedly. By conscious, repeated practice, we become good at those movements. Our entire lives are like this, but we’re often less conscious of the practice. [...]
Your Top 10 Clutter Questions, Answered
by Leo
11 Jan 2012 at 11:33am
Post written by Leo Babauta. Decluttering is a skill that you learn with practice, just like any skill. And just like other skills, there are many little questions and problems you need answered and solved as you get started. Those of you taking the Clutterfat Challenge this month are facing these problems, and I’m here [...]
Clearing Your Life for a New Year
by Leo
9 Jan 2012 at 12:55pm
Post written by Leo Babauta. Every January, people rush out and get a gym membership, set a list of goals or resolutions, and get ready to take on a new year of frenetic activity. Unfortunately, we don’t often clear space to make room for all this new stuff. The beginning of the year is a [...]


This Is How It Is

Here is your Thursday STORY on: ADAPTING TO CHANGE: It is how you perceive adapting to change that makes the difference. It will either be a hindrance or a help. Most people automatically think it is a hindrance; but we must quickly adapt and find the positives. We must be prepared to 'move on' and work with new pastures, new territories and new circumstances. How many times have you compared your life to that of an animal? You may have done an action and then justified it by drawing a parallel in nature. This maybe one of the very few occasions you use the word justify in the correct position. If a stone is uplifted and we find a colony of insects living there, they seem to immediately adjust by looking for a new stone. We as humans would try and demand the stone be put back, perhaps it may be worth a consideration but we must no allow it to dominate our thought for months and years. Today's story illustrates a woman who makes the move to address a problem in her life; and how she uses a valuable lesson from her pet. LESSONS I LEARNED FROM MERLIN For the last hour, I've been scuffling about my kitchen in a man's size 13 UGG slippers (it's not a hazard as long as I don't try the stairs), whipping up a sugar cookie recipe that requires a full pound of Crisco, and wondering how in the world I'm going to write my year's holiday letter. I'm going to start with an event that occurred today. It's not meant to be morbid, so kindly bear with me. Today, my Great Pyrenees, Merlin, came home to me by way of a UPS truck. My beloved, forever shedding partner in crime these last 11 years passed on to another form of life on December 8th. He died because half of his heart had given out, proving my suspicions from his puppy-hood that he, like the Whoville Grinch, had a heart that was simply several sizes too big. After I kissed his nose for the last time, I arranged to have his ashes delivered to me, which was supposed to take a day or two. Instead, they called me yesterday (14 days later) to tell me they'd accidentally tried to deliver him to another family and that he was still on the UPS truck, on his way to me this time. Today, true to form, a sweating UPS truck driver sprinted to my door with Merlin solidly lodged under his arm. As I carried Merlin (in his new state, housed in a small cedar chest) upstairs, I couldn't help but chuckle. Nothing in the entire world caused greater gnashing-of-teeth for Merlin than the UPS truck and its men in brown. It was the only single thing that taunted him into trampling down fences and sprinting for blocks down rush-hour traffic streets.and here's how he ended up, lodged in the bowels of the evil incarnate monster itself (AND during the holiday season to boot) in herky-jerky, stop-and-go fashion for two full weeks. That, my friend, is Karma. Take it from Merlin: If you're chasing after anything in life with some level of misdirected anger, that very thing will likely get the better of you in the end. That being said, I'll give Merlin credit for helping me maintain misdirected anger over the last 11 years - even this last year. Merlin was a high-spirited creature who liked to skitter around on his tippy-toes and create instant wainscoting in every home by sliding drooly, dirty tennis balls along the wall. But he'd also follow me from room to room when he knew I was upset until I'd finally flump down and throw my arms around him. He loved me unconditionally with great warmth and a giving soul that knew no other way to be. And that was a lesson I did, indeed, learn from Merlin. This last year didn't start well as a man I cared for deeply did a sudden about-face just weeks before the holiday. It came as a complete surprise to me and, though my friends and family gathered around me in protective and cheerful stance, I was very bah-humbug through the season. As the New Year began, I found myself struggling with clients I didn't really like, and paying rent I didn't really want to pay anymore. So, 'round about March, Merlin and I had a talk and decided to stop with the misdirected anger and start creating a better story. And so we did. As I say in all the stuff I write, "If you don't like the situation you're in, recognize you created it and fix it." It was time to take my own medicine. Merlin and I drove all around Laguna Beach in my little convertible until we found our new home. With the move made to a place just a block from the beach, I then tackled the not-liking-my-clients issue with Grim Reaper determination. Fact is, if you're not doing what you love to do every day, you're cheating yourself. I knew there were too many good and exciting people out there to work with and as I focused on this fact, those very people started coming in the door. It wasn't until July that I got up the nerve to e-mail the one person I wanted to work with most - a past client by the name of Robert. Robert and I have tried and failed at working together twice before, and hitting that initial "SEND" button this time around wasn't easy. Ten minutes later, however, we were on our way to working together again and now I'm his Vice President of Marketing. I delight in what I do every day for this man's company. It's not easy and it's got its tenuous, warbly-chin, pounding headache moments. But, I delight in it, pure and simple as that. It's supposed to be that simple, I believe. Through this client, I even happened upon my dream web programming team, a team that's quite capable of leaping tall buildings in a single bound AND in record time. What I find most amazing is that I was prepared to NOT like working with them. Fortunately, somewhere along the way, I realized that chasing them down rush-hour streets while barking my fool head off was only going to succeed in getting ME killed - yet another lesson I learned from Merlin, who always and eventually gave up the chase with a shrug. So, here I sit on Christmas Eve's Eve with Merlin perched on my lap. (This must be nirvana for Merlin - he is, at last, a lap dog.) And his lessons are here in my head: - If you chase after something in anger, it will find a way to bite you back. - Be sure to follow your closest friends from room to room when you know they're upset. - Give generously of your warmth and soul. You've got more where that came from. - Be the first to press the "SEND" button when you haven't talked to someone in a while. - If you're trying to chase something off because it seems like a threat to you, it might be better to stop, shrug and give it up. - Delight in your days. It's supposed to be that simple. - And lastly, never lose sight of your family and friends. They're the home you want to return to, even if the only way to get there is by UPS truck. (Diane Armitage, A published writer for three decades.) QUOTE: "Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.' (Thomas Jefferson)


Why won't my touch alarm go off?
I got 5th generation if it helps.So I put my alarm to 9:45 am and I put sound and everything but nothing happens. I have tried this before setting the alrm and everytthing but it always fail. Any help at all would be great. Thx..... This is how it was setted. Snooze -- on Label -- alarm Sound -- bell tower Repeat -- never

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This guy that is off limits..why is he doing this?
I know he is extremely attracted to me, I'm attracted to him too. We flirt a lot when we see each other but I know he is married and off limits. So many times I try to control myself and start flirt with someone else or hang out with other people. Last night, I approached the DJ that was hosting the night to take a photo and he tells me he is glad I came by because his manager/stage guy really wants to meet me. So we are talking, taking photos etc. Meantime, this married guy keeps on passing by us, looking at us. Now, he is a bouncer at the place and I'm on good terms with him. I turned around after while and he was staring at me as to what am I doing, why I'm with them. I felt bad and went over there and smiled and asked him if he is good. He said yes and smiled. I went back to the DJ group. I mean this is how it is all the time. I was on the dance floor, passing by and some guy wanted to grab me to dance with me and kind of stumbled and accidentally pushed me. This bouncer guy almost threw them all out over it. Went nuts on them when he saw what happen in front of his eyes. Why is he like so protective and almost possesive? He almost acts like he wants to claim me. I don't get it.(By the way, he doesn't know I know that he is married)

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Why am I not happy living at home?
I'm 21 years old, in my third year of college, and living at home. I appreciate everything they do for me, but it bothers them that I'm so quiet around them but so loud and talkative around my friends. I know this is how it is, I'm extremely talkative and outgoing when i'm at work, or school, but not when I'm alone with my parents. I have a good idea or where it comes from, but I need some outside opinions. The first point would be with my dad. My mom has her faults that can bug me, but it's almost all my dad. Basically since i turned 18, he hasn't done much to be a good father. He's had good gestures towards me, like allowing me to live at home rent free, he let me have his old car, and my mom and him pay for school. I know these are very nice things, but when it comes to being a good dad, he isn't there. He's always right and never wrong, he never takes any interest in what I have to say, and he always has to one up everything I say or do. He also plays the victim in everything. Oh because he wakes up earlier for work then I do, he has to let everyone know to give him pity. When I say something like that, he'll freak out over it. It could be how I wash my car, take car of our dogs, how I treat school, or how I do my job at work. The only time he says more then a few words to me, is when I'm either getting lectured on something I'm doing wrong, something he did right, or he's making fun of me in some way. He never compliments me on anything I do, I'm always wrong. He always has something negative to say about me or something else around me. Even when he says something nice, it always comes with a 20 minute lecture on how I need to do something better. The other point is about the things they have said to me when i'm not around. This has gone on for several years, but one night comes to mind. I had made a mistake on a transfer date for college, so i couldn't leave to a new school when I wanted to. At that time, I felt really bad, but when I got home my parents basically went to town with it. Once I left to go to my room, they spent the next hour and a half or so making fun of every part of my life along with the mistake I made. School, work, dating, exercising, my intelligence, working, and they compared me to my moms loser brother who hasn't done anything with his life. There was not one piece of my life that they didn't make fun of. I don't know if i'm wrong, but these kind of events didn't sit well with me, and they've caused me to be pretty distant with my parents now. I've talked to my mom about it, but she just takes his side saying oh that's who is he, we've been married over 30 years, and I'm going to be with him forever because I love him. What i hate is, they argue a good amount, and I always hear them talking about divorce, and them selling the house and splitting up. These types of events just don't help at all. Whenever I do something wrong, they loose it and say all these mean things about me, but with them, they'll say horrible things to each other but then they'll act like nothing happened the next day. What is your opinion on all this? Sorry for any errors, i'm on winter break from school, so i may make some mistakes lol.

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Billy Talent- This is How it Goes (Album version+lyrics)

6 Sep 2009 at 7:15pm


Ode To Joy

16 Jul 2008 at 7:27am



Next page: Finding Out Depressed


This Is How It Is News


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