That Happiness

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Imagine
by guest
22 May 2012 at 9:44am
Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Chris Guillebeau of ChrisGuillebeau.com. Imagine a life where all your time is spent on the things you want to do. Imagine giving your greatest attention to a project you create yourself, instead of working as a cog in a machine that exists to make other people rich. [...]
The Little Guide to Contentedness
by Leo
18 May 2012 at 1:31pm
‘He who is contented is rich.’ ~Lao Tzu Post written by Leo Babauta. There has been little in my life that has made as much an impact as learning to be content — with my life, where I am, what I’m doing, what I have, who I’m with, who I am. This little trick changes [...]
The 9-5 Guide to Staying Active
by guest
15 May 2012 at 9:00am
Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Matt Madeiro of Make Every Day Count. Let?s see if this rings any bells. When the clock hits 8, I sit. I plop back in my rolling chair, crack open the laptop on my desk, and spend the next nine hours with my butt glued firmly to [...]
Three Little Habits to Find Focus
by Leo
10 May 2012 at 11:42am
‘Distraction is the only thing that consoles us for miseries and yet it is itself the greatest of our miseries.’ ~Blaise Pascal Post written by Leo Babauta. I’ll be the first to admit that I fall victim to the trap of the Internet — a wonderful empowering tool that can fill your day with distractions, [...]
How to Live Well
by Leo
7 May 2012 at 1:59pm
‘Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.’ ~Seneca Post written by Leo Babauta. I’m not a rich man, nor do I fly around the world and drink champagne with famous people in exotic locales, nor do I own a sports car or SUV or a yacht. And yet, [...]
What I?ve Learned About Learning
by Leo
3 May 2012 at 9:07am
‘We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself.’ ~Lloyd Alexander Post written by Leo Babauta. I am a teacher and an avid learner, and I’m passionate about both. I’m a teacher because I help Eva homeschool our kids — OK, [...]
The 39th Lesson
by Leo
30 Apr 2012 at 9:05am
Post written by Leo Babauta. Today (April 30) is my 39th Un-un-birthday, and as usual, the day is a good day to pause and reflect. Last year I wrote 38 Life Lessons I?ve Learned in 38 Years, and people seemed to find some use in it. This year, I thought I’d share an additional lesson [...]
How to Fail at Habits
by Leo
24 Apr 2012 at 11:28am
Post written by Leo Babauta. Before I learned how to change habits, I was stuck. I kept trying to change various habits — running, eating healthier, waking earlier, getting out of debt, ending procrastination — and I kept failing. I got very good at failing, in fact. Looking back on those days, given the power [...]
Webinar: How I Used the Power of Bad Habits to Change My Life
by Leo
23 Apr 2012 at 8:00am
Post written by Leo Babauta. Yesterday I conducted a free webinar, “How I Used the Power of Bad Habits to Change My Life“, and the video is below. The webinar was held Mon. April 23), and in it I talked about my struggle with bad habits, why bad habits are so powerful, and how I [...]
Crazy Talk: The Do-What-You-Love Guide
by Leo
19 Apr 2012 at 11:36am
‘Everything you can imagine is real.’ ~Pablo Picasso Post written by Leo Babauta. When I wrote the first words of this blog, more than five years ago, I had no idea those few keystrokes would change my life. I thought I was doing nothing more than reflecting on the changes that had been happening in [...]

 

 

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Here you will find 5 short 'Wisdom Stories' per week.. The theme that is followed in each story is... a short introduction, a wisdom related story and a powerful quote. Please enjoy...

 

ADAPTING TO CHANGE:

QUOTE: 'Empathize with one who is angry and watch the anger melt away into acceptance.'

(Eva Gregory)

Starting with a quote on this occasion has helped set the mood. A major part of wisdom is control, not dominance but allowance. The greater control comes from letting go. Rather than seeing control as 'hands on' we ought to view it from a different perspective as 'hands off'.

As in the quote above empathy is not control it is an understanding. To understand allows a greater force to work. If we could adapt that to our own life rather than the quote's suggestion as seeing others, we could temper many a storm.

As with adapting to change, could we not allow the change to happen and adapt rather than fight its effect? The greater energy flow would arise by letting go, rather than mustering up the strength to fight.

Our emotion state of mind is at its strongest during a period of calm and settled existence. Stir that up and our decisions become more erratic and dysfunctional. So the power arises from the calm rather than the futile lashing out from the anger.

Today's story illustrates how we can disarm the anger; the anger of doing wrong. The route is through letting go rather than dominance.

DISARMING THE ENEMY

According to an Associated Press account, in September 1994 Cindy Hartman of Conway, Arkansas, walked into her house to answer the phone and was confronted by a burglar. He ripped the phone cord out of the wall and ordered her into a closet.

Hartman dropped to her knees and asked the burglar if she could pray for him. "I want you to know that God loves you and I forgive you, '' she said.

The burglar apologized for what he had done. Then he yelled out the door to a woman in a pickup truck: "We've got to unload all of this. This is a Christian home and a Christian family. We can't do this to them."

As Hartman remained on her knees, the burglar returned furniture he had taken from her home. Then he took the bullets out of his gun, handed the gun to Hartman, and walked out the door.

Praying for our enemies is incredibly disarming.

(Unknown Author)

QUOTE: 'Whenever evil befalls us, we ought to ask ourselves, after the first suffering, how can we turn it into good. So shall we take occasion, from one bitter root, to raise perhaps many flowers.'

(Leigh Hunt)

 

HAPPINESS:

Happiness can be the result of forgetting.

Emotional highs and lows use up our energy and ability to remember. We forget how to be happy.

Today's story explains how easy it is to forget, but at the same time how valuable it is to remember.

The story is about a speech, cleverly written to express a point. Be assured that the writer was happy during its composure. If some anxiety or anger would have occurred whilst writing this clever speech, we would have never felt the expressive gratitude given to the VALUE of good friends.

A CENSORSHIP-FREE GRADUATION

The following salutatorian speech was delivered by the author at the June 7, 2002 graduation ceremony of Hollidaysburg Area High School. The text was initially censored by school officials because of its religious content. The school later allowed the author to deliver her remarks un-censored after being contacted by Liberty Counsel, a public interest legal group. The uncensored speech is presented here.

I don't know about all of you, but I definitely don't feel old enough to be standing here today. I maintain that I am really an eight year-old somehow trapped in the body of an eighteen year-old.

But, in the past few weeks, I've really started to think about what I have done in my life, and I am slowly coming to the realization that a lot has transpired in my seemingly few eighteen years. Time seems to have flown past without me, though I possess a mind full of memories that indicate otherwise.

If I try as hard as I can, I am able to pull up some memories as far back as kindergarten, though this is quite a chore, as most of those memories have been crowded out by derivatives, the structure of DNA, and the format for a diction paragraph.

But once I dig through to those early years, I begin to understand how far I have come. I've gone from being unable to even write my own name to being able to understand (supposedly) college level calculus and live for a month in Germany. My repertoire has expanded greatly, and, looking back, I cannot imagine how I accomplished everything I have.

As pictures from my past cross my mind, I am glad for what I have achieved, but then I look a little closer and catch a glimpse of something even more amazing in my life.

Yes, I am blessed to have done all I have to reach this point, but when I look hard at where I have been, I see how I have arrived here. At that point, I finally understand that I owe success not to my own efforts, but to the love and friendship of some truly wonderful people.

Usually they are not on the forefront garnering attention for themselves; no, they are in the background, doing the things that matter most, the things that have gotten me where I am today.

They stayed up with me into the wee hours of the morning, discussing all the things that really matter; they pored through history books, trying to pick out the information that would surely be on that massive test tomorrow; they were there to listen to my frustrations when time seemed too short and the work too long; they gave me advice when I didn't know what to do, yet never pushed me to do what they thought was right.

More than any of that, though, they taught me how to have fun in life, regardless of the ugly situations that often present themselves at the most inopportune of times.

By now you must be wondering who these awesome people are, and to that I answer that I have been very blessed to call them my friends and family. God, in His perfect way, has managed to connect me with these people who have shaped my life, and for that I am forever grateful to Him.

Now, as I prepare to go off to college, the hardest part is not starting a new chapter, but finishing this one. Those people who have grown so dear to my heart must now be allowed to go their own ways, and in the case of some, must be left behind as I move ahead.

But just when I think I can't go through with it all, who should be there, encouraging me to follow the dreams God has given me, but those dear people, the same ones I don't want to leave.

I dread these partings that draw nearer by the day, but these people have helped me understand that there is One who will never leave me or forsake me. He will stick closer to me than a brother, even when I mess up or even try to run from Him. He, even more so than the people I love, has been there every day, never forcing me to do anything, but always encouraging me to stretch my limits and strive for the best He has to offer.

As we prepare to continue in this journey of our lives, I look back with special fondness on everything my friends and family have done for me. Through all we have been through together, I have learned the lessons that will make my life happier in years to come.

The people God has placed around me are some of life's sweetest blessings, and my prayer is that God will bless them as much as they have blessed me. I encourage all of you today to remember those people who have made you who you are; do not forget to thank them before you leave. They have aided us in reaching this point where we now stand, and for that they should never be forgotten.

(Shannon Wray)

QUOTE: 'Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now in this instant of time. From this moment onwards you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed.'

(Eileen Caddy, Spiritual Writer)

 

LOVE:

Many people are aware of how powerful love is, but few would have a story to illustrate this.

Today's story is similar to loss of custom in a business. You must treat everyone the same, with the same degree of love, care and attention. A failing business will often show the signs of no love. No employee cares anymore, so as a consequence their attitude spills over into customer relations. The customers feel aggrieved and take their business elsewhere.

Where there is no LOVE there exists greed, a selfishness that consumes; this consumptions sucks out all appreciation. Your circle of customers or for that matter your circle of friends starts to decline.

The mirror principle appears to apply in this situation. If you have no love, you reflect no love. It is as if you're trying to see your reflection in quick-sand.

So it follows that without LOVE you lose so many attributes. Whilst today's story has no mention of the lack of love, it mentions what showing love can do.

THE BISHOP'S GIFT

Once a church had fallen upon hard times. Only five members were left: the pastor and four others, all over 60 years old.

In the mountains near the church there lived a retired Bishop. It occurred to the pastor to ask the Bishop if he could offer any advice that might save the church. The pastor and the Bishop spoke at length, but when asked for advice, the Bishop simply responded by saying, "I have no advice to give. The only thing I can tell you is that the Messiah is one of you."

The pastor, returning to the church, told the church members what the Bishop had said. In the months that followed, the old church members pondered the words of the Bishop. "The Messiah is one of us?" they each asked themselves. As they thought about this possibility, they all began to treat each other with extraordinary respect on the off chance that that one among them might be the Messiah. And on the off, off chance that each member himself might be the Messiah, they also began to treat themselves with extraordinary care.

As time went by, people visiting the church noticed the aura of respect and gentle kindness that surrounded the five old members of the small church. Hardly knowing why, more people began to come back to the church. They began to bring their friends, and their friends brought more friends. Within a few years, the small church had once again become a thriving church, thanks to the Bishop's gift.

(Unknown Author)

QUOTE: 'It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that you'll do things differently.'

(Warren Buffett, Investment Entrepreneur)

 

THE LOVE OF WISDOM:

What is preventing you from success? Your mind!

In wisdom success is always attributed to money, but to other such successes such as achieving love and happiness. Yet whether we live in a world of wisdom or not the controller of our destiny is our own little self.

We follow actions suggested within our mind. So ultimately the controller is our mind. We are all too well aware that TWO people or more exist within our mind; no one individual runs the whole show. It almost appears as if we have two opposite ends controlling all of our decisions, a GOOD GUY and a BAD GUY.

In WISDOM the attempt is for the one true self to run the mind; we need to limit the effects of the others. The others may be referred to as the EGO, INNER TALKING, SELF TALK, CONVERSATIONS within the mind or many other weird and wonderful names various countries around the world give to them.

Nevertheless if we want success we need to have some control of our own mind, we need to eliminate the bad and poor decision maker.

Today's story is an illustration of how a strong and active mind can overcome difficulties.

MY STORY

I have a dream, and I will stay determined, work hard, and do everything in my power to make my dream a reality.

Growing up, I had a lot of negativity in my life, and just recently, I experienced a success that I consider, a significant step towards my dream/goal for life.

During my elementary/middle school years, achieving straight A's was never an easy task due to a mild learning disability. My disability lead to low quality test taking ability, which affected me a lot with the SAT's. However, during high school, I achieved almost all A's in which I am very proud of. The SAT's of course was the only thing holding me back from getting into the school of my choice. The school of my choice is located near Los Angeles, CA, the home of the entertainment industry. Working in the entertainment industry is my goal/dream, and just going to school in the same area was something to strive for in itself.

With a mild disability in Reading Comprehension, the SAT Verbal Section was really to my disadvantage. I applied for extra timing numerous times, and got turned down each and every time. When I got a letter from the school, which was not a solid rejection, saying my SAT score did not reach the minimum for allowable admission, I began to lose hope.

I started crying, hating myself, my life, standardized tests, among other things. I called up my admissions counsellor in tears when I received the letter and asked him nicely if there was anything else I could do to improve my application packet. My counsellor was one of the most understanding, kind, and considerate people I have ever met. He gave me a second chance to improve my scores and gave me suggestions of how to really prepare for the SAT. So, I purchased an 8 inch thick SAT prep booklet, and drilled away for 3 hours each day, during the 2 week period I had before the test. The book really stressed me out and I thought I was gonna die, trying to retain all of that information.

Well, I finally took the test, and remained utterly nervous and scared for the 4 weeks prior to receiving my scores. I finally received my scores, and was ecstatic to see that I increased 50 points. My counsellor told me that I needed a 50-60 point increase for consideration. I was so happy! My admissions counsellor was very happy for me too, and sent my application packet to an appeal committee, convincing them that I really have the drive to go to their school and am determined to do well. My grades were stellar, which was a total plus. Just shows that a simple test score doesn't mean anything when it comes to measuring a person's intelligence and potential.

After 3 weeks of waiting around for a decision, my counsellor called me and said "Congratulations Julia, you have been admitted." That literally made my year! I was so happy and excited, I wasn't in a bad mood about anything for a long time. I was so determined to make it into that school, I did anything to get there.

No matter how rough the seas may get, never give up. If all the doors are closed, open one. If opportunity runs out, make more. If the storms get rough, they blow away, not you. My advice to anyone with a dream is to always believe in yourself, believe in the universe and you will for sure see good results.

The path to any success, big or small, may get rough, and when it does, take charge, never settle for less than you are determined to get. The human being can do amazing things, and if the mind really dwells upon something, the body will react. Follow your dreams and never give up, because it's the losers that say success is only "luck".

For an update on me, I just finished my first semester at Chapman University in Orange County CA, having earned a 3.7 GPA. My major is Communications, however I am switching to Theatre Performance. I am breaking into the modelling industry which I plan Television and Movies to follow. UCLA is in mind for transferring to as an undergraduate and/or future schooling. To everyone who took the time to read my story: God Bless every one of you, and may all of your lives shine like stars.

(Julia Barys)

QUOTE: 'It is hard to fight the enemy who has outposts in your head.'

(Sally Kempton)

 

SELF DEVELOPMENT:

Why do we choose to accept a first impression?

It seems that we have grown up with accepting them and therefore it becomes a habitual act. This accepting a habitual act alone proves how many other aspects of our life can be clouded by judgements made from assumptions.

Is accepting a first impression actually the first impression? More often than not it is the second impression. The first impression is a gut feeling that we discard incorrectly.

I was out shopping with the family over the weekend and walked passed a tramp. The children stared intently at the tramp and after we had passed they gave me a barrage of questions. At eight and six years old my two girls were wondering was he a nice man or a naughty stranger, and why was he sitting on the floor?

I explained the reasons for his need to sit and beg, but also continued with that we all would assume that he is a horrible person, because of his unshaven and unwashed appearance. Then I followed with, the way he appears on the outside doesn't mean that it is the way he is on the inside. He maybe able to laugh about his misgivings and have learnt some very valuable lessons in life, his soul maybe enriched with love and affection.

We are better to reserve judgement than fill in the gaps and complete our first impression without all the facts. Yet, nevertheless as with our life, we seem to be making decisions with fewer facts than should be advised.

To improve our self development we need introduce a goodness that prevents the proverbial first impression being accepted. Making assumptions means that you are taking risks, and taking risks causes heartache and problems.

When you first see a tramp you show immediate empathy and sorrow; and only then do you put up your guard and make the recognizable 'first impression'.

The more you assume the more you are making decisions without the full facts. This leads to inaccuracies in your life; you'll be continually going over ground you've already trodden.

Spot the two first impressions accepted in this story. Watch also for the gathering of people who act as though they were sheep and follow everyone else's lead and make the same assumptions.

HIS NAME IS JOHN

His name is John. He has wild hair, wears a T-shirt with holes in it, jeans and no shoes. This was literally his wardrobe for his entire four years of college. He is brilliant. Kinda esoteric and very, very bright. He became a Christian while attending college.

Across the street from the campus is a well-dressed, very conservative church. They want to develop a ministry to the students, but are not sure how to go about it. One day John decides to go there. He walks in with no shoes, jeans, his T-shirt, and wild hair. The service has already started and so John starts down the aisle looking for a seat. The church is completely packed and he can't find a seat. By now people are looking a bit uncomfortable, but no one says anything.

John gets closer and closer and closer to the pulpit and when he realizes there are no seats, he just squats down right on the carpet. (Although perfectly acceptable behaviour at a college fellowship, trust me, this had never happened in this church before!) By now the people are really uptight, and the tension in the air is thick.

About this time, the minister realizes that from way at the back of the church, a deacon is slowly making his way toward John. Now the deacon is in his eighties, has silver-grey hair, a three-piece suit, and a pocket watch. A godly man, very elegant, very dignified, very courtly. He walks with a cane and as he starts walking toward this boy, everyone is saying to themselves, "You can't blame him for what he's going to do. How can you expect a man of his age and of his background to understand some college kid on the floor?"

It takes a long time for the man to reach the boy. The church is utterly silent except for the clicking of the man's cane. All eyes are focused on him. You can't even hear anyone breathing. The people are thinking, "The minister can't even preach the sermon until the deacon does what he has to do." And now they see this elderly man drop his cane on the floor. With great difficulty he lowers himself and sits down next to John and sits with him so he won't be alone.

Everyone chokes up with emotion. When the minister gains control he says, "What I'm about to preach, you will never remember. What you have just seen, you will never forget."

(Unknown Author)

QUOTE: "Goodness is the only investment that never fails.'

(Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Highest Laws, 1854)


The content and materials provided in this web site are for informational and educational purposes only and are not intended to supplement or comprise any precise facts, although we have researched sufficiently for the facts and information to be reasonably accurate. All content and materials including research papers, case studies and testimonials summarizing facts have been done by individuals working for this website. We cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies, as we have described that information is for educational purposes and therefore maybe a few weeks old.


Resources:
All Authors, where know are credited to both quotes and 'add-in' stories

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How to be Happy Tips

How to be Happy Ideas

Wisdom and Happiness Quotes

Wisdom and Happiness Stories

Philosophy and Being Happy Stories
Wisdom and Being Happy Examples
Being Happy Quotations
Being Happy Illustrations

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How to be Happy | Gift Ideas | Wisdom and Philosopy

 
[[ct]]: That Happiness

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Collab Happy: Louis Vuitton To Partner With Dot-Enthusiast Yayoi Kusama - Ology

23 May 2012 at 3:28pm  Louis Vuitton lovers, be prepared to see dots, and it?s not because a group of paparazzi is about to blind you in ambush with their bright flashes. (Or maybe they are. How do I know?) The luxury brand is collaborating with Japanese artist Yayoi Kusama to ...

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O'Dea happy to play his part - Independent

23 May 2012 at 3:14pm  Darren O'Dea is ready to step into Richard Dunne's boots on Saturday, but does not expect to be doing so when the Euro 2012 finals come around. The 25-year-old Celtic defender, who spent last season in the npower Championship on loan at Leeds, has 13 ...

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"Seven Days of Sex" a Good First Step says Dr. Bonnie - San Francisco Chronic...

23 May 2012 at 3:08pm 

"Seven Days of Sex" a Good First Step says Dr. Bonnie
San Francisco Chronicle (press release)
Couples on the show may be happy in sweat pants, or glued to their cell phone so it's no wonder that some of the magic has gone out of their relationship. "Sex is the glue that keeps a couple together," explains Dr. Bonnie, "but it won't just 'happen,' ...

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Didn?t You Always Want To Be A Test Driver? This Would Be Your Cubicle - Trut...

23 May 2012 at 2:59pm  Do you still want to be a professional test driver? Kyowa, the company that outfits vehicular torture chambers the world over, will be happy to be of service.

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Tottenham star happy to remain at White Hart Lane - footballfancast.com

23 May 2012 at 2:45pm  Gareth Bale is reportedly happy at Tottenham and will not look to leave the club this summer, according to The Sun. The Welsh winger has emerged as one of the most devastating and feared attackers in the English game over the last 24 months, with the star ...

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Just graduated? How to make the most of your new, boring corporate job - Wash...

23 May 2012 at 2:16pm 

Just graduated? How to make the most of your new, boring corporate job
Washington Post
The job paid very well, made my parents happy, and put a bold-faced name on my resume. But more often than not, I was miserable. I worked 60-hour weeks and ate more lunches, dinners and late-night snacks at my desk than I'd care to remember.



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Does confidence even exist for people like Brad Pitt?
I was just thinking about this there over the past couple of days. Is Brad Pitt actually confident? Or does he just have things so good due to his looks, that happiness comes 100 % natural to him? Who gets what I'm saying? I believe that there are two types of confidence. There is circumstantial confidence. This being confidence that comes with someones circumstances being so good. A perfect example being Brad Pitt, due to his perfect bone structure, symmetry, and aesthetically pleasing features. Then there is emotional confidence. This is confidence that is brought about by dealing with emotional issues that come your way, in an effective manner. I do believe that people like Brad Pitt can live off circumstantial confidence and still acquire full happiness. I suppose it is possible that some may combine the two - have circumstantial and emotional confidence. But who gets what I'm saying.... How do we know that Brad Pitt is getting as far as he is because of his confidence? How do we not know that his confidence is an inherent feature that came with his good looks? Who can relate to the way I'm thinking?

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What do you think about this poem?
Nothing lasts forever, this is a lie Pain lasts forever and it will never die The things we hold close all fade away Family, friends, memories all fade some day I too will fade away like these words I speak All this emotion pouring out of me like a hurricane but all I want is this happiness I seek But true happiness is unrealistic on this Earth we live on We kill, rape, cheat, and do unspeakable things to each other like we are the devil's spawn These lives we live are truly living hells, we all seek that happiness I spoke of before But we all know past the bullshit, that it does not knock at the front door How can a man or woman be truly happy when a piece of paper controls them? What is the true meaning of life? I do not think we will ever know my dear Watson

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Is there something wrong with happiness? Please read?
I'm a homeschooling 9th grader. It was my choice to homeschool and I am going to continue through high school. I never had a friend in school, however now that I am homeschooling, I find myself meeting people I want to be friends with but I don't know how to get closer. I often think about what it means to be happy, and I have a creeping worry that happiness is like a drug, and all happiness is unjustified and unwarranted. First I thought about "real happiness," like when someone is very nice to you, and about how if you were in a What if you swallowed pills that made you instantly happy, all the time. That is artificial happiness. I think pretty much everybody would agree that that is "bad," because it keeps you from your duties like empathy and solidarity and it distracts you from your business in the world for other people. However, now that I thought about that, I feel as though that pill-induced artificial happiness is not a different state from "real" happiness for real reasons. The greatest conclusion I have come to is that happiness is a basic survival need, like food and drink, because without it a person would fall into a pit of despair and eventually reach suicide. Is that a correct assumption about the absence of happiness? Do you know of any other purpose of happiness? Using that analogy as a guideline, the "meaning" of food is simple to me: nourishment. I've never been able to eat sugar or junk because when I do, I am very disturbed by the "distraction" from the simple purpose. I do not think other people think like this, however it is who I am. I am concerned about giving myself the state of happiness - my creative work is stronger and farther reaching in its absence, I have greater empathy without it, when I am happy I only want more happiness and I would kill for more happiness, and all my visions of purpose fade away in my craving for happiness. I do not think that is a good state. When I have been happy, I become very bitter when things do not go well, because I feel entitled and I am spoiled when I am happy. I was happy for a few days, and now that I am not happy, I am craving happiness, and simultaneously plagued with questions of being and a feeling of meaninglessness, and I am scornful and mocking of myself in the absence of happiness. This is like withdrawal. I don't think happiness is a good thing. As a side note, I am frustrated by the superficialness of friendships based around happiness. I'm basically unable to engage in a relationship where we go out for ice cream, share stories, comfort each other, talk and laugh together, etc. because it is basically a function to produce happiness, and if I don't want to be vested in that, and I don't approve of the end goal, I do not want to participate in the means. On the same note, I dream of having someone to speak to of these matters and other questions that bother me often, and a relationship where neither person is bartering in terms of triviality to find that meaningless happiness, but rather trying to deepen each other's thoughts to their own wonderings. I apologize if this came out as pretentious. I do want a friend. I know a few people who I would love to have as a friend - but I would come across as having a mental problem, or else pretentious, or just too intense for them, and I don't know how to just walk up to someone and say "Can we talk?" and then ask about some of these things. Also, I really want a friendship with a person who is 10 years older than me, but I don't know how to instigate that without freaking them out. Can anyone give me some tips? Thanks for reading. I just realize I didn't finish my second paragraph. Well, the third basically sums it up. Thank you, Maxi. I'll keep that in mind. I do need to make more of an effort to be around people. But it bothers me what I would be giving up by choosing common happiness, and I feel like the selfish hankering for happiness leaves much else by the wayside, although this feeling reduces to no more than a small nagging while I am actually happy.

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