Stopping Grief

5 Stories of Happiness and Solving Problems

HAPPINESS Story 1

Encouragement By The Window

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The
man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and colour of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every colour of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

(Unknown Author)

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. If I could introduce an equation to this plot - If you share grief you reduce the sorrow by half; if you share your happiness it doubles the enjoyment...

If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can't buy.

QUOTE: "One abundance we know as happiness, is not something we can acquire. It is something we tune in to.' (Wayne Dyer).

HAPPINESS Story 2

Words are very powerful, I may mention it a little too often, but the point of making the comment again is that it can make your life happier.

How can that be... you may ask?

Communication is a skill. If you could communicate better everything you do will have greater value.

The income from your career would improve, the respect you get amongst your colleagues and close friends would improve, the love your family gave you would increase ten-fold.

Those three reasons alone should be enough for you to consider improving your interest in the subject. If not examine the comments from this philosopher coach...

'It also made me more aware of my words and how they can hurt people. As a husband, father, coach, and human being, I know how powerful my words are to my wife, kids,
players, and those I come into contact with every day.

For example, my coaching philosophy is based on getting a player to play hard because they want to, and because they respect and love me. Not because I am yelling and screaming at them for what they do wrong.

If I have to correct a player I try and sandwich anything of a corrective nature with two positive things they do well. For example: "Jamie, you are an awesome point guard and I am so thankful for the opportunity to coach you. The one thing you need to work on to make you a better player is using your left hand to dribble and pass with. When you get better at that, you are going to be simply unstoppable!"

As compared to: "Jamie! When are you going to learn to use your left hand!! We are not in Junior High anymore!! I can't believe that you haven't learned that by now!! If you don't start getting better at it, I'm going to sit your butt down for the rest of the stinkin' season!"

Words are powerful... You see, the ones I love the most are the ones that hurt the most. I put on my positive face when I leave my house, but when I get home, sometimes I take off my mask, hang it by the door, and become someone I am not very proud of.

I am getting better at learning to treat my wife and kids with the same love, respect, and honour that I treat those outside of my home with. But I still fail my family at times.

Words... Little ink spots on a piece of paper, or syllables uttered by a tongue. They don't seem like much sometimes, but they are a powerful force that can be used to build
people up, or tear people down.

I, for one, am going to try harder to build up. I know I will fail at times, but Lord willing, I will get better.'

"The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit." (Proverbs 15:4)

(Michael Powers).

QUOTE: "You are not happy because you are well. You are well because you are happy. You are not depressed because trouble has come to you, but trouble has come because you are depressed. You can change your thoughts and feelings, and then the outer things will change to correspond, and indeed there is no other way of working.'

(Emmet Fox, Author).

SOLVING PROBLEMS Story 1

The great philosopher Descartes suggested we should doubt all our beliefs until we could confirm those beliefs as absolutely correct. Otherwise those beliefs could be infected by an unnoticed error.

An abundance of doubt could be considered sceptical but healthy. Yet in the wrong hands doubt can make you act irrationally and suspend judgement for too long.

So can DOUBT hinder the process of SOLVING PROBLEMS?

Many of us do not believe in God, Father Christmas, a Buddha or any Spiritual Beings. In effect we have doubt!

A young child called Luke, had lost both his parents in an accident. He had been taken to a children's home.

It was approaching Christmas and this was to be Luke's first without his parents. He was eleven years old and at this age had realised that Santa Claus was fictional.

Luke wanted nothing else for Christmas other than some new parents to look after him. Yet his sadness for no parents was multiplied when he was amongst younger children who all believed in Father Christmas.

The bitterness of his parent's loss had almost brought him to say to the other children that Santa Claus wasn't real. The manager of the home saw the distress and invited Luke into his office.

"What would you really like for Christmas?" asked the manager. "All I want is some new parents, " said Luke. "Then write to Santa Claus, " suggested the manager.

Luke doubted the prospect of Santa ever getting his letter, as there wasn't a real one. "Santa has his helpers all over the world, in every town and city. Write to Santa's helpers and see if they can help pass the message on, " said the manager.

Eventually the manager convinced Luke to write a letter asking for some new parents. He addressed the envelope to 'Santa's Helpers'.

Upon the post being sorted, the post worker noticed a slightly odd recipient. The normal letters addressed for Santa Claus or Father Christmas were directed in the normal way; so the post worker took it to the postmaster to resolve.

The postmaster opened the letter. Within two weeks he had adopted Luke.

QUOTE: "If doubt is challenging you and you do not act, doubts will grow. Challenge the doubts with action and you will grow. Doubt and action are incompatible." (John Kanary, Speaker and Success Coach).

SOLVING PROBLEMS Story 2

I personally have a problem with jealousy and consistently fight its effect, as I guess does everyone.

If I could help diminish its effect, would you be impressed? Opportunities arise regularly to dissolve big issues in life, but we forget to take them. Let me explain...

What I have always endeavoured to do with a subject is to turn it on its head. Instead of jealousy being a problem, I've tried to view it from beauty. What is jealousy telling you? It is saying in a relationship for example that you are selfishly in love with your partner. But love is a beautiful thing!

Being too selfish is where the trap is! In every aspect of your life, being too selfish can destroy what is good. As jealousy can often damage a relationship, isn't it then beautiful when you notice the moment a jealous thought enters your head, this is an opportunity to put things right?

Let me give an example of how beautiful life can be...

It was a day of heavy rain and the flood-waters came, a man, a religious man, was trapped on his own roof. As he saw the waters rise he prayed for God's assistance. "I know he will come and save me, " the man said.

Two men came by in a small boat, "Hop in old chap, we can take you to dry land, " they said. "It's okay, " he replied, "God is coming to save me."

A speed-boat then passed. "Jump in quick, the water is rising, " said the driver. "It's okay, " he replied, "God is coming to save me."

As the waters began to rise a helicopter flew by. "Climb onto the rope ladder, we can still save your life, " said the rescuer. "It's okay, " he replied, "God is coming to save me."

Eventually the man drowned. As he got to the gates of heaven, he was annoyed. "Where is God, I want a word with him, " he said in a raised voice. "I am God, what can I do for you?" The man continued, "You of all people should answer prayers, I drowned as a consequence of you!"

God replied, "I sent a rowing boat, a speed boat and a helicopter, what else could I have done!"

Opportunities are presented to you if you choose to take them. As soon as you see a jealous moment arrive, you have an opportunity to improve and thus lessen the grip it is likely to take.

QUOTE: "Bad times have a value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss."

(Ralph Waldo Emerson, Author & Philosopher).

SOLVING PROBLEMS Story 3

QUOTE: "The arithmetic of love is unique: two halves do not make a whole; only two wholes make a whole."

(Jo Coudert)

The marriage is the unit of society. Yet at times during a marriage that unity can be lost. The very reason for their togetherness, the unity; is momentarily drained from the relationship. They both appear to be pulling separate ways.

The natural and spontaneous affections, present early in the relationship, and the beauty and the eventual unity, need to be re-investigated.

Dealing with problems alone, without sharing with your partner. Tussling with your career, grieving for a family member, striving to improve finances; all of which are better shared. If his oneness called love isn't the unity that causes us to soldier on through life's ups and downs together, we may find that the result is resentment and hatred.

We are all just a small cog in a big wheel. We all need to work together to make the big wheel turn. If we don't realise this we'll be the wave in this next story!

"Far out in the ocean a wave began. It moved and danced and played with all the other waves, not knowing as it did that it was slowly but surely heading toward a distant shore.

The wave went on like this for a long time. Sometimes the wind would come and it would become a very large wave. Other times the wind would be all but gone and the wave would become just a ripple on the surface. But still, it continued.

One day, the wave came within sight of the shore. At first it was thrilled to see something new and laughed with delight. Then its delight turned to horror as it watched other waves head to the shore and crash on its beach. The wave tried as hard as it could to avoid reaching the shore, but it was impossible. Every second it was coming closer and closer. The wave began to cry.

Another wave behind the first wave noticed that it was crying and asked why. "Don't you see?" asked the first wave in despair. "All the waves are crashing on the shore! All of us waves are going to be gone!" The second wave nodded and gave a small smile. "But don't you understand?", asked the second wave gently. "You're not just a wave, you're part of the ocean! You start deep in the ocean and eventually crash onto a shore; it's the role of a wave as part of the sea!"

QUOTE: "Some things you have to do every day. Eating seven apples on Saturday night instead of one a day just isn't going to get the job done."

(Jim Rohn, American Business Philosopher).

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