Single Parent

Eastern Wisdom

 zenhabits
breathe.

The Two-Headed Beast of Successful Habit Change
by guest
2 Feb 2012 at 9:20am
Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Tyler Tervooren of Advanced Riskology. I used to have a lot of bad habits. I still do, but I used to have a lot more. Here?s just a small sampling: I woke up late and went to bed early. I procrastinated on my most important work. I [...]
Create the Habit of Meditation, & the Zen Habits Premium Membership
by Leo
31 Jan 2012 at 3:03pm
Post written by Leo Babauta. It’s something I should have created a long time ago: the Zen Habits Premium Membership, and a mini-course that’s included with it called Create the Habit of Meditation. The membership is a monthly subscription of $19.99, but really it’s a commitment to changing your life, and the tools needed to [...]
Creating Silence from Chaos
by Leo
27 Jan 2012 at 3:20pm
Post written by Leo Babauta. We are often afraid of silence, because its emptiness feels idle, boring, unproductive, and scary. And so we fill our lives with chaos, noise, clutter. But silence can be lovely, and therapeutic, and powerful. It can be the remedy for our stress and the habits that crush us. If we [...]
The Habits That Crush Us
by Leo
23 Jan 2012 at 11:26am
‘Don’t panic.’ ~Douglas Adams Post written by Leo Babauta. Why is it that we cannot break the bad habits that stand in our way, crushing our desires to live a healthy life, be fit, simplify, be happier? How is it that our best intentions are nearly always beaten? We want to be focused and productive, [...]
Learning to Sit Alone, in a Quiet Empty Room
by Leo
17 Jan 2012 at 1:49pm
‘All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.’ ~Blaise Pascal Post written by Leo Babauta. Think about some of the problems of our daily lives, and how many of them would be eased if we could learn to sit alone, in a quiet empty room, with contentment. If [...]
Life as a Conscious Practice
by Leo
13 Jan 2012 at 9:15am
‘Everything is practice.’ ~Pele Post written by Leo Babauta. When we learn a martial art, or ballet, or gymnastics, or soccer ? we consciously practice movements in a deliberate way, repeatedly. By conscious, repeated practice, we become good at those movements. Our entire lives are like this, but we’re often less conscious of the practice. [...]
Your Top 10 Clutter Questions, Answered
by Leo
11 Jan 2012 at 11:33am
Post written by Leo Babauta. Decluttering is a skill that you learn with practice, just like any skill. And just like other skills, there are many little questions and problems you need answered and solved as you get started. Those of you taking the Clutterfat Challenge this month are facing these problems, and I’m here [...]
Clearing Your Life for a New Year
by Leo
9 Jan 2012 at 12:55pm
Post written by Leo Babauta. Every January, people rush out and get a gym membership, set a list of goals or resolutions, and get ready to take on a new year of frenetic activity. Unfortunately, we don’t often clear space to make room for all this new stuff. The beginning of the year is a [...]
How to Tackle Your Clutter
by Leo
6 Jan 2012 at 12:19pm
Post written by Leo Babauta. So you’ve been putting off tackling your clutter for months, maybe even years. Papers pile up on a counter, shelves are crammed full of books and magazines and other things, closets are stuffed to the point of spillage, clothes pile up on the floor or furniture, boxes and furniture and [...]
How to Have the Best Year of Your Life (without Setting a Single Goal)
by guest
5 Jan 2012 at 9:15am
Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Jeff Goins of Goins, Writer. This new year, do something different: stop setting goals. If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, then making resolutions for another year is a sure-fire way to drive yourself crazy. I did [...]


Single Parent

THE LOVE OF WISDOM: If it is true that actions speak louder than words, how often do you say to someone you love them? What can speak louder than that? If I ever was to make a defence in court, in defence of the power of words as opposed to action, I would use today's story to illustrate the power of saying, 'I love you.' Days can fly by, weeks, months and years can also pass quickly. We must not forget to say to those important to you that you LOVE them. As we know this appreciating those close to you is important, we must recognise in ourselves, especially men, the impulse when a loving thought occurs. Women have an inbuilt mechanism that recognises this easier than men; but this impulse must be acted upon with words. If you are sat at the breakfast table and your child begins to clear the table of the plates and cups, you must show your appreciation. Make recognising this impulse become part of your personal philosophy, it will help to improve your attitude. WHO I AM MAKES A DIFFERENCE A teacher decided to honour each of her seniors in high school by telling them the difference they each made. She called each student to the front of the class, one at a time. First she told each of them how they had made a difference to her and the class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon imprinted with gold letters, which read, "Who I Am Makes a Difference." Afterwards the teacher decided to do a class project to see what kind of impact recognition would have on a community. She gave each of the students three more ribbons and instructed them to go out and spread this acknowledgment ceremony. Then they were to follow up on the results, see who honoured whom and report back to the class in about a week. One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby company and honoured him for helping him with his career planning. He gave him a blue ribbon and put it on his shirt. Then he gave him two extra ribbons and said, "We're doing a class project on recognition, and we'd like you to go out, find somebody to honour, give them a blue ribbon, then give them the extra blue ribbon so they can acknowledge a third person to keep this acknowledgment ceremony going. Then please report back to me and tell me what happened." Later that day the junior executive went in to see his boss, who had been noted, by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He sat his boss down and he told him that he deeply admired him for being a creative genius. The boss seemed very surprised. The junior executive asked him if he would accept the gift of the blue ribbon and would he give him permission to put it on him. His surprised boss said, "Well, sure." The junior executive took the blue ribbon and placed it right on his boss's jacket above his heart. As he gave him the last extra ribbon, he asked, "Would you do me a favour? Would you take this extra ribbon and pass it on by honouring somebody else? The young boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school and we want to keep this recognition ceremony going and find out how it affects people." That night the boss came home to his 14-year-old son and sat him down. He said, "The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my office and one of the junior executives came in and told me he admired me and gave me a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine. He thinks I'm a creative genius. Then he put this blue ribbon that says "Who I Am Makes a Difference, " on my jacket above my heart. He gave me an extra ribbon and asked me to find somebody else to honour. As I was driving home tonight, I started thinking about whom I would honour with this ribbon and I thought about you. I want to honour you. My days are really hectic and when I come home I don't pay a lot of attention to you. Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough grades in school and for your bedroom being a mess, but somehow tonight, I just wanted to sit here and, well, just let you know that you do make a difference to me. Besides your mother, you are the most important person in my life. You're a great kid and I love you!" The startled boy started to sob and sob, and he couldn't stop crying. His whole body shook. He looked up at his father and said through his tears, "Dad, earlier tonight I sat in my room and wrote a letter to you and Mom explaining why I had killed myself and asking you to forgive me. I was going to commit suicide tonight after you were asleep. I just didn't think that you cared at all. The letter is upstairs. I don't think I need it after all." His father walked upstairs and found a heartfelt letter full of anguish and pain. The envelope was addressed, "Mom and Dad." The boss went back to work a changed man. He was no longer a grouch, but made sure to let all his employees know that they made a difference. The junior executive helped several other young people with career planning and never forgot to let them know that they made a difference in his life... one being the boss's son. And the young boy and his classmates learned a valuable lesson. WHO YOU ARE DOES MAKE DIFFERENCE. (Author Unknown) QUOTE: "Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty four hours a day, for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force.' (Tom Blandi)


I hate my situation in life and it's driving me crazy?
PLEASE READ THIS. So, starting 9th grade I had to move to a small beach town. And ever since then I've hated it. The teachers are imbeciles, the kids are loud and rude. Plus the principle doesn't know what he's doing. But I go just to graduate. And on top of that, my family is broke. I can't make any money to do the things I want to do with my friends. I dream of being able to buy nice things and have the joy out of that. But sadly, that day won't happen for another 4-5 years. I also have tons of depression and self esteem issues. I'm constantly feeling sad and I just wanna give up with functioning and hoping in life. Not gonna kill myself, but more just lay there all day. Cause I'm fed up with things always turning out bad. I always seem to come across a problem when doing anything. It sucks. And I'm not good at anything. I'm bad at mostly everything. The only thing I'm gifted at is computers. I can fix them and program them. But that's from being a complete lazy computer nerd all day. I understand that my situation could be worse, but I'm grateful for what I have. It's just hard when you're 14 and can't get a job to fulfill your wishes. It's all about depending on your single parent Mom who is broke as ever. I also just wish I didn't feel lethargic all the time and depressed. I'm on Prozac but it doesn't do anything. My next psychiatrist appointment isn't until March, so I can't change anything. I also have outburts of anger. I'm just fed up with life. Life is just dull and stupid. There's nothing fun about it and that's why almost every second of my life feels like a dream or a nightmare that I can't get out of. Also don't say it's just cause your 14. You don't know me personally and my situation, there for it's not just my 'age'. I've been using computers since I was 4. I would call it a natural gift more than a talent. I want to find something new, but everytime I try.. I fail. And even when I keep trying.. I fail. It sucks. I have a therapist but we don't get along and it's pointless.

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I feel like giving up in life please read?
PLEASE READ THIS. So, starting 9th grade I had to move to a small beach town. And ever since then I've hated it. The teachers are imbeciles, the kids are loud and rude. Plus the principle doesn't know what he's doing. But I go just to graduate. And on top of that, my family is broke. I can't make any money to do the things I want to do with my friends. I dream of being able to buy nice things and have the joy out of that. But sadly, that day won't happen for another 4-5 years. I also have tons of depression and self esteem issues. I'm constantly feeling sad and I just wanna give up with functioning and hoping in life. Not gonna kill myself, but more just lay there all day. Cause I'm fed up with things always turning out bad. I always seem to come across a problem when doing anything. It sucks. And I'm not good at anything. I'm bad at mostly everything. The only thing I'm gifted at is computers. I can fix them and program them. But that's from being a complete lazy computer nerd all day. I understand that my situation could be worse, but I'm grateful for what I have. It's just hard when you're 14 and can't get a job to fulfill your wishes. It's all about depending on your single parent Mom who is broke as ever. I also just wish I didn't feel lethargic all the time and depressed. I'm on Prozac but it doesn't do anything. My next psychiatrist appointment isn't until March, so I can't change anything. I also have outburts of anger. I'm just fed up with life. Life is just dull and stupid. There's nothing fun about it and that's why almost every second of my life feels like a dream or a nightmare that I can't get out of. Also don't say it's just cause your 14. You don't know me personally and my situation, there for it's not just my 'age'. I've been using computers since I was 4. I would call it a natural gift more than a talent. I want to find something new, but everytime I try.. I fail. And even when I keep trying.. I fail. It sucks. I have a therapist but we don't get along and it's pointless. So that doesn't help.

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Why do people guilt me because I wasn't able to breastfeed?
My body just didn't produce milk.. it wasn't there. I sat in the hospital and at home for days after with a pump hooked up to my breasts and finally started getting a trickle. I pumped for 3 weeks and there still wasn't enough. I have flat nipples and my baby wasn't able to latch. I enlisted the help of the public nurse a relative of mine who is a L&D nurse (and breasfed all 5 of her kids) the wic dietician and lactation consultant. Nothing worked. Not a nipple shield. Not a nipple shell. My supply wouldn't increase and the pumping was taking its toll. I'm a dual enrolled fulltime student, and a single parent. I felt like I was going insane. I finally came to the realization that this wasn't for us. And switched to formula exclusively. My milk dried up -literally the next day. A few people (relatives and friends mostly) have guilted me into not breastfeeding. Even though, I feel like I made the right choice for myself and baby. Its a personal choice, and no one's business really but mine. But I think, they think I'm a bad mother or didn't try hard enough. Regardless of that its still my choice and my choice alone in the end. While I wish I was able to successfully, I just don't think it was right for us. I just don't understand why they think they have the authority to look down on me (when most of them formula fed! lol!!) For example my grandma likes to throw it in my face that a cousin of mine (her mom was the L&D nurse) was able to breastfeed. Granted her mom helped her and she had lots of family support, which I didn't have. And that is WONDERFUL that she is able to.. but why does it have to be thrown in my face? I just want to move on and get on with my life, but my grandmother in particular likes to rub it in that I couldn't do it (even though she couldn't either). I looked into milk banks.. and it isn't something that I can afford. I get enough in student loans to just cover the bills basically. (And yes I have been looking for work for the past 3 months.. 3 resumes sent out every day.. I live in Michigan.. #1 in unemployment!) @Badassmommy - I don't think my reproductive choices are any of your business so your comment about 'not the best time' is moot. Mind your own f#%king business. I asked about breastfeeding so lets stick to that assw$pe

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Buju Banton-Single Parent

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A day in the life of a single parent

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