Relationships And Marriage
Here is your Saturday STORY on: SOLVING PROBLEMS: For you; what is a problem? Is a problem just another noose around your neck, or is it a blessing in disguise? I guess the appropriate answer is how you perceive it to be. That perception is generally determined by the emotion you're in at that moment. A change in perception can change the whole view of a problem. Today's story illustrates the same principle but calls it an adjustment in attitude. As a few small problems seem to follow on from each other, is this not a sign that you're not fully in control? You're beginning to drift into the wrong emotion and no amount of effort will prevent further calamities. We cannot prevent this shift of emotion, but we can see it for what it is and correct it. When was the last time you looked at something beautiful and said it was an effort? All you are doing is SEEING, you're not involving effort! Instead of falling into despair as nothing is going right, we can use it as a trigger to remind us that our state of mind is weak. So rather than think a noose is being tightened around your neck, you are actually getting a reminder to change. What more of a blessing could you ask for? If you can understand this principle, then I'm sure you'll introduce it. Instead of ducking and diving during the day to avoid all the problems, you be shouting, 'Bring them on!' So it would appear that the total reverse is true, to overcome problems you must experience them. Rather than avoid them you need to get very good at solving them; so without the proper practice you'll never get the skill. Invite them on! In doing this the fear of problems will disappear. What will eventually happen is that you'll be solving 50 problems every day and not realising you had any. We need to perceive problems as healthy and not unhealthy. CHIP DANCING Not too long ago I had "one of those days." I was feeling pressure from a writing deadline. I had company arriving in a couple days and the toilet was clogged. I went to the bank, and the trainee teller processing my deposit had to start re-process my money three times. A detour took me by the supermarket to pick up a few things and the lines I wanted were all sold out; I decided on something from the freezer. By the time I got home, I was frazzled and sweaty and in a hurry to get something on the table for dinner. Deciding on Cream of Mushroom Soup, I grabbed a can opener, cranked open the can, then remembered I had forgotten to buy milk at the store to double to portion. Nix the soup idea. Setting the can aside, I went to plan B, which happened to be leftover baked beans. I grabbed a Tupperware from the fridge, popped the seal, took a look and groaned. My husband isn't a picky eater, but even he won't eat baked beans that look like caterpillars. Really frustrated, now, I decided on a menu that promised to be as foolproof as it is nutrition-free: hot dogs and potato crisps. Retrieving a brand new bag of crisps from the cupboard, I grabbed the cellophane and gave a hearty pull. The bag didn't open. I tried again. Nothing happened. I took a breath, doubled my muscle, and gave the bag a hearty wrestle. With a loud pop, the cellophane suddenly gave way, ripping wide from top to bottom. Crisps flew sky high. I was left holding the bag, and it was empty. It was the final straw. I let out a blood curdling scream. "I can't take it anymore!!!" My husband heard my unorthodox cry for help. Within minutes he was standing at the doorway to the kitchen, where he surveyed the damage: an opened can of soup, melting groceries, mouldy baked beans, and one quivering wife standing ankle deep in potato crisps. My husband did the most helpful thing he could think of at the moment. He took a flying leap, landing flat-footed in the pile of crisps. And then he began to stomp and dance and twirl, grinding those crisps into my linoleum in the process! I stared. I fumed. Pretty soon I was working to stifle a smile. Eventually I had to laugh. And finally I decided to join him. I, too, took a leap onto the crisps. And then I danced. Now I'll be the first to admit that my husband's response wasn't the one I was looking for. But the truth is it was exactly what I needed. I didn't need a cleanup crew as much as I needed an attitude adjustment, and the laughter from that rather funky moment provided just that. Now I have a question for you, and it's simply this: Has anyone ever stomped on your crisps? I know that, in my life, there have been plenty of times when I've gotten myself into frustrating situations and I've cried out for help, all the while hoping someone would show up with a celestial broom and clean up the mess I've made of things. What often happens instead is that you get someone who dances on my crisps, answering my prayer in a completely different manner than I had expected, but in the manner that is best for me after all. Do I trust this brave new concept? Even when answering my prayers in a way that is completely different from my expectations? Even when someone is dancing and stomping instead of sweeping and mopping? Can I embrace what they're offering? Can I let their joy adjust my attitude? Am I going to stand on the sidelines and sulk, or am I willing to learn the steps of the dance? I'll be honest with you: Sometimes I sulk. Sometimes I dance. I'm working on doing more of the latter than the former. QUOTE: "The person interested in success has to learn to view failure as a healthy, inevitable part of the process of getting to the top.' (Dr. Joyce Brothers, Psychologist)
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