Mind And Body

Why am I able to believe I'm someone else or something else or in another place when im not?
I've been able to physically set my mind and body in other places, PHYSICALLY, and its SCARY as hell at times. I've imagined myself at a lake at pitch black night and me in the shallow water. It's snowing, and I can feel its really cold outside, and my mind believes that I am at that place when im not. Thats the scariest imagination I've had, but others thoughts still scare me. I literally feel like If I imagine physically how it feels to step inside another person and see through their eyes that I CAN BE THEM. Its the same that goes for animals, not just people. For instance, I caught a rat the other day in my room, it was in a glue trap, and I imagined BEING the rat, physically, and I quickly realized that I am not a rat and I'm a human being. I'm not the rat. Sorry if I sound like im crazy here, I'm really not. I'm 16, I'm a nice person and I dont display my problems to anyone but this one problem just annoys me because I dont know what I have. I know it cant be a mental disorder, but what is it that I have? If i have anything please let me know.

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How does one die peacefully? Assuming the body's instinct to fight death is an unpleasant experience?
ie - the last moments on the hospital bed, struggling to breathe and death begins to take hold. How does one come to embrace the process and relax mind and body when the body is in panic mode? My grandmother succumbed to her pneumonia hours after I last saw her and I know she was brave. I don't want for her to have suffered. And I want to be brave when my time comes too.

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PLEASE READ/HELP! I AM WORRIED/SCARED?
I am very scared/worried about my health right now. It all started when I had 2 panic attacks in Oct 2011 and went in to the ER for chest pain and they told me I had anxiety, and since then everything has gone downhill. My BP is my main concern it fluctuates constantly. My doctor told me that it could be a life threatening tumor called pheochromocytoma that is extremely rare but he doesnt think I have it. I am 22 years old. I dont feel like I have anxiety. I just feel calm but my BP isnt normal. I have sleep problems. I am just scared about all of this. Before all anxiety and my BP was normal range. My blood pressure fluctuations are pretty high. Like 120/80, 135/84, 150/91 and once it hit 155/97! I take my BP readings 3 times consecutively because I might become calmer so it goes down and down (but i dont know if I am supposed to) and I am not taking any medication. My blood pressure hasnt been normal since Ive had a panic attack since Oct. Sometimes i play sports to see if i can bring it down but its still high, and I dont get that tired feeling nor am I getting fresh sleep. I just dont know, i am just confused and scared. The weird thing is i just dont feel anxious inside like heart beating fast, nervousness, i just feel calm. But I just do not understand why my BP and heart rate are high. Sometimes I think I might be experiencing heart papilations or irregular heart beats. My digestive system isnt right also, i do not have regular bowel movements and eat less or eat and do not feel fullness. Im just confused and scared. My body has completely changed from the inside. Sometimes I get random chest pains too , but I still don't feel "anxiety" or maybe anxiety has soaked into my body that I just dont "feel" it anymore. I wake up sometimes with my heart rate racing. I just feel like theres something wrong with me but I am scared. I also have GERD but lately I havent felt it as much due to my appetite changing and no heart burn feeling. I experience burning type chest pains. I have had my heart checked before and they did an EKG and took a picture of my chest(I believe it was radiology) and everything was normal. Also, no thyroid/diabetes problem. Im just scared. Sometimes I just dont feel like myself, I feel light headed at times and feel like im not inside myself. Today I got 5 hours of sleep and before I used to get at-least 7-8 fresh sleep. I sometimes wake up shaky and nervous and with a rapid heart beat. I feel like I am calm all the time, but my pulse beats rapidly. Some of the symptoms I keep looking up for the tumor and it keeps making me more and more scared/worried. sometimes I experience excessive sweat from buttocks randomly and hand tremors. Sometimes I feel as if I am getting new symptoms every day. I am worried that how can anxiety might lead to something life threatening? I also, sleep and wake up earlier than used to wake up. Sometimes I will check my pulse when I am calm and it is rapidly beating, and then at some other times it will be semi-fast but not as fast. Its all confusing. I sometimes feel like I am not in my mind and body and sometimes feel light headed. My appetite has some what changed like I feel I can eat but do not feel fullness. My doctor is sending me to a sleep study for sleep apnea, and is going to send me to an ENT. He has asked me to monitor my BP for 2 weeks, I am just scared what if something is wrong? Also, sometimes I feel like my back is cold/sweaty but its not. I sometimes feel like some what of a burning sensation in some of my body parts and sometimes muscle aches. I can go to sleep but it is hard for me to get fresh sleep as in sometimes its hard to stay asleep. Am I bipolar? Could it be anything serious? I am just worried, and I want to get my life back and go back to normal health and normal self. I cant focus in school and I cannot enjoy the things I used to do. I just want my life back before all of this anxiety started to happen but I cant thinking about something is wrong with me. Anybody else experiencing this? I am just scared that how can something bad come from anxiety? How can my BP just change like that when I used to have NORMAL BP. Its making me scared. I have been experiencing weird symptoms that I have never experienced before... I just want my life back...I cant focus in school/life and I have trouble sleeping at night. The weird thing is that I feel calm, and NOT anxious but yet, I still do not feel right and my BP isn't normal. Could it be the amount of stress in my body? I am scared to go back to the doctor for my follow up. What sometimes worries me is that when I am calm I am where did the anxiety symptoms go when I have anxiety? And when I go check my BP while calm its high? All of this is just over whelming me. Only thing that runs through my mind is I have something life threatening. I am just so scared...

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