Here is your Saturday STORY on: SOLVING PROBLEMS: Letting go of the past is easy to say but not so easy to do. It is not until you see how effective it can be and to see how it benefits you first hand, do you begin to realise at all how big this small problem is! Nobody can expect after a life-time of experience, that you will drop old ideals and introduce fresh ones. What we can expect however is that you keep an open mind. If you try something new and it works, then you need to introduce that concept. Within my little world this week, I’ve had a chaotic, frustrating and ‘emotionally trodden on’ period. I can always tell when my attention is caught up with other matter. I may try texting on my mobile phone and suffer the frustration of tapping in the wrong information time after time, equalled only by my desperation to text the message quickly. These moments become a trigger that remind me to stop; calm down, stay still for a moment, take a deep breath and then allow myself to exhale very slowly. This begins the process of ‘letting go’ of all the troublesome matters. Being calm and collected, and generally of a happy nature, expands your skill, ability and judgement to deal with problems. Being ‘on-edge’ and uptight will be of no service to anyone. This next story explains how the desire and want for an item can make you refuse to let go. This is the parallel to us adults not letting go of our past, allowing it to effect our present moment and often damage its very beauty. HOLDING ON TO WHAT IS IMPORTANT This is a beautiful story I heard once about a child playing with a vase his mother had left on the table for a few moments. When the mother turned at the sound of her son crying she saw that his hand was in the vase and was apparently stuck. She tried to help him and pulled and pulled until the child cried out in pain. But the hand was stuck fast. How would they get it out? The father suggested breaking the vase but it was quite valuable and the child's hand might be cut in the process. Yet he knew that if all else failed there would be no other alternative. So he said to the boy, "Now, let's make one more try. Open your hand and stretch your fingers out straight, like I'm doing, and then pull!" "But Dad, " said the boy, "If I do that I'll lose my penny!" The boy had had a coin in his hand all the time and was holding it securely in his tight little fist. And he wasn't prepared to open his hand and lose the penny. But once he opened his hand it came out of the vase easily... I know that I hold onto things in my life that I think are so important to me. Early in my marriage all I cared about was becoming the best volleyball player in the state of Wisconsin. One year, when Kristi was working 2nd shift at General Motors, I played in 1400 games, competing four nights a week and 40 out of 52 weekends. My team won over 1000 games, 32 of the 40 tournaments, and two gold medals at the Badger State Games. Success on the volleyball court, but a huge loss in my relationship with my Kristi. I remember being so frustrated when she would ask me not to play on a certain weekend. When we would do things together, I would constantly be thinking about how I could be competing instead, and as I held so tightly to becoming a good player, I was losing my wife... I started to realize how self-centred I was being, and how I was working so hard at something that in the whole scheme of life, meant two things: Didley and Squat! When I finally let go, I looked back at what I had done and was ashamed. Not only did I show my wife she wasn't the most important thing to me, but I missed out on a lot of relationship building time. My life is so much richer now that I am not a slave to that drive to be the best player I could be... I still love to compete, and with all the great players I have surrounded myself with, we can still go anywhere in the tri-state area and expect to be in the finals. But now it's not the all-consuming fire. What is it in your life that you are afraid to let go of? What has a hold on you? Let go and watch the improvement unfold in front of your eyes. Michael P.S. And to think that my Kristi put up with all these things and still loved me, still had faith that I would become the man I should be, and stuck with me. A special lady indeed! I still have a way to go, and some growing up to do, but I owe her more than I can ever repay! QUOTE: “The true measure of man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” (Ann Launders)