Self Deception
***** o0o*****
Self Belief and Happiness
Happiness and Self Esteem
Happiness and Deception
The Self and Happiness
Looking and Finding
Happiness
Lonely and Unhappy
Happy and Self Improvement
Belief and Happiness
***** o0o*****
1. INTRODUCTION – Self Deception
Self-deception is the process or fact of misleading ourselves to
accept as true or valid what is false or invalid. Self-deception, in
short, is a way we justify false beliefs to ourselves.
The very reason for the exploration this week is upon hearing this
very self-deception around me.
Have you ever been to the doctor and in his understanding he needed
important information to diagnose the problem. He asked, “How many
coffees do you have per day? How many cigarettes do you smoke? How
much exercise do you partake in?” Your answer maybe, “Just a few
coffees, I hardly smoke at all nowadays and I try every day to get
plenty of exercise.”
Self deception!
We are continually challenging our self-image. In an effort to avoid
damaging it, we often deceive ourselves. The purpose of this inquiry
is to define self-deception. Self-deception poses tantalizing
conceptual conundrums and provides fertile ground for empirical
research, studied annually by biologists, philosophers, psychiatrists,
and psychologists.
To what extent are our beliefs subject to our control?
This week I’ve copied some important quotes from psychologists that
should help in our understanding. But the important aspect to remember
is that self deception is controlled by the SELF; this ‘self’ is made
from knowledge and experience; our wisdom. If we cannot overcome self
deception then we haven’t the ammunition within our wisdom to combat
it. We either need to add to it or get some help. This help maybe just
a friend who points out the obvious, something that for some reason we
can’t see for our-self.
Can I remind you that wisdom is easy! More often than not, to overcome
a problem is not always achieved by studying and experiencing more,
but by finding the one block, the one piece of information we’re
holding onto for grim death, that’s stopping a barrel full of
information we already have from being used properly. This indirectly
is adding to our wisdom.
QUOTE: “Self-deception theory suggests humans are capable of an act of
self-betrayal. Self-betrayal is an act where an individual refuses to
live according to his or her own beliefs of how they should live. A
man feels to pause and help a child who has just dropped his toy
soldiers all over the sidewalk - but doesn't. A woman notices the
sorrow on the face of the neighbour whose husband has just had a
stroke, and feels to go over and talk about the situation - but
doesn't. An employer feels to admit he was over zealous in his
complaints about the sales force - but does not. In one moment these
people experience a very human feeling: to act, to help, to care, to
tell the truth, in the next moment they do not feel the same.”
(Terrance D. Olson)
QUOTE: "The significant problems that we face today cannot be solved
with the same level of thinking that we were at when we created them."
(Einstein)
QUOTE: “Eighty-five percent of medical students think it is improper
for politicians to accept gifts from lobbyists. Only 46 percent think
it's improper for physicians to accept gifts from drug companies. (Dr.
Ashley Wazana)
QUOTE: “People tend to hold overly favourable views of their abilities
in many social and intellectual domains....This overestimation occurs,
in part, because people who are unskilled in these domains suffer a
dual burden: Not only do these people reach erroneous conclusions and
make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the
metacognitive ability to realize it. (Justin Kruger and David Dunning)
Get someone external to your environment to help you recognise the
problem and find a way out. Challenge your existing beliefs, thoughts,
and values. When we are convinced that the problem is "out there
somewhere", then THAT idea itself IS the problem.
Fortunately, it is not necessary to know whether self-deception is due
to unconscious motivations or not in order to know that there are
certain situations where self-deception is so common that we must
systematically take steps to avoid it.
QUOTE: “The difference between the highly successful person and one
who isn’t as highly successful can be simply boiled down to the
difference in their habits. The same goes for the wealthy person and
the not-so-wealthy person, the happy person and the unhappy person.
For example...
Do you have a habit of spending? Or that of saving?
Do you have a habit of focusing on what’s gone wrong? Or on
determining what’s gone right?
Do you have a habit of dwelling on the past or worrying about the
future? Or living in the now?
Do you have a habit of beating yourself up? Or do you notice what
you’re good at and acknowledge yourself?
Do you have a habit of picking at your lesser attributes? Or do you
focus on your more positive ones?
Do you have a habit of focusing on how much more weight you still have
to lose? Or how much you’ve already lost?
Do you have a habit of thinking how little of your debt you’ve paid
off? Or that you are taking positive steps in the right direction?
Do you have a habit of saying how much you can’t afford what you want?
Or feeling good about the things that you already have?
Do you have a habit of collapsing in front of the television watching
nothing in particular? Or do you spend your time on a more meaningful
activity?
Do you spend your time complaining? Or counting your blessings?
(Veronica Lim)
***** o0o*****
Self Belief and Happiness
Happiness and Self Esteem
Happiness and Deception
The Self and Happiness
Looking and Finding
Happiness
Lonely and Unhappy
Happy and Self Improvement
Belief and Happiness
***** o0o*****
The caution, then, is being kind to yourself. Avoid the embarrassment
and heartbreak of seeing your words and actions smash against reality.
In the first instance be aware that self deception exists. Accept it
has existence and then see what arises within your mind. It first
maybe a smile in acknowledgement, but eventually you’ll dislike the
deception that is occurring. Be assured that answers to overcome this
dilemma will arrive. Don’t allow any frustration to occur, but see
this new vision as a delightful progress and transition to a higher
level of consciousness.
Allow your potential to be a wondrous event and see how your ability
to SEE self deception be the first hurdle in overcoming it.
Onto our weekly stories…
2. STORY 1
THERE’S NO WAY OUT
An infant is learning to crawl. She begins by pushing herself backward
around the house. Backing herself around, she gets lodged beneath the
furniture. There she thrashes about, crying and banging her little
head against the sides and undersides of the pieces. She is stuck and
hates it. So she does the only thing she can think of to get herself
out: she pushes even harder, which only worsens her problem. She's
more stuck than ever.
If this infant could talk, she would blame the furniture for her
troubles. She, after all, is doing everything she can think of. The
problem couldn't be hers. But of course, the problem is hers, even
though she can't see it. While it's true she's doing everything she
can think of, the problem is precisely that she can't see how she's
the problem. Having the problem she has, nothing she can think of will
be a solution.
Self-deception is like this. It blinds us to the true cause of
problems, and once blind, all the "solutions" we can think of will
actually make matters worse.
For too long, the issue of self-deception has been the realm of
deep-thinking philosophers, academics, and scholars working on the
central questions of the human sciences. The public remains generally
unaware of the issue. That would be fine except that self-deception is
so pervasive it touches every aspect of our personal lives and our
business lives. "Touches" is perhaps too gentle a word to describe its
influence. Self-deception actually determines one's experience in
every aspect of our life.
(John Denton and Peter Bangle)
3. STORY 2
JUDGEMENT
There was an old man in a village, very poor, but even kings were
jealous of him because he had a beautiful white horse. Kings offered
fabulous prizes for the horse, but the man would say, "This horse is
not a horse to me, he is a person. And how can you sell a person, a
friend?" The man was poor, but he never sold the horse.
One morning he found that the horse was not in the stable. The whole
village gathered and said, "You foolish old man! We knew that someday
the horse would be stolen. It would have been better to sell it. What
a misfortune!"
The old man said, "Don't go so far as to say that. Simply say that the
horse is not in the stable. This is the fact; everything else is
judgement. Whether it is a misfortune or a blessing I don't know,
because this is just a fragment. Who knows what is going to follow
it?"
People laughed at the old man. They had always known he was a little
crazy. But after fifteen days, suddenly one night the horse returned.
He had not been stolen; he had escaped into the wild. And not only
that, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him.
Again the people gathered and they said, "Old man, you were right.
This was not a misfortune; it has indeed proved to be a blessing."
The old man said, "Again you are going too far. Just say that the
horse is back ... who knows whether it is a blessing or not? It is
only a fragment. You read a single word in a sentence - how can you
judge the whole book?"
This time the people could not say much, but inside they knew that he
was wrong. Twelve beautiful horses had come.
The old man had an only son who started to train the horses. Just a
week later he fell from a horse and his legs were broken. The people
gathered again and again they judged. They said, "Again you proved
right! It was a misfortune. Your only son has lost the use of his
legs, and in your old age he was your only support. Now you are poorer
than ever."
The old man said, "You are obsessed with judgement. Don't go that far.
Say only that my son had broken his legs. Life comes in fragments and
more is never given to you."
It happened that after a few weeks the country went to war, and all
the young men of the town were forcibly taken for the military. Only
the old man's son was left because he was crippled. The whole town was
crying and weeping, because it was a losing fight and they knew that
most of the young people would never come back. They came to the old
man and they said, "You were right, old man - this has proved a
blessing. Maybe your son is crippled, but he is still with you. Our
sons are gone forever."
The old man said again, "You go on and on judging. Nobody knows! Only
say that your sons have been forced to enter the army and my son has
not been forced. But only God, the total, knows whether it is a
blessing or a misfortune."
Judge not, otherwise you will never become one with the total. With
fragments you will be obsessed, with small things you will jump to
conclusions. Once you judge you have stopped growing. Judgement means
a stale state of mind. And mind always wants judgement, because to be
in a process is always hazardous and uncomfortable.
In fact the journey never ends. One path ends, another begins: one
door closes, another opens. You reach a peak; a higher peak is always
there. God is an endless journey. Only those who are so courageous
that they don't bother about the goal but are content with the
journey, content to just live in the moment and grow into it.
(Author Unknown)
4 RESPONDING TO YOUR QUESTIONS
QUESTION: “I assume that I need to work hard to become wiser and the
amount of hours that requires frightens me. How do I overcome this
fear?”
ANSWER: To ‘allow’ seems almost effortless; so allow yourself to
become wise. Work implies effort. You need to perceive progress
differently. Allowing is the best way; don’t fight with too many ways
or you’ll achieve neither.
CHASING TWO RABITS
A martial arts student approached his teacher with a question. "I'd
like to improve my knowledge of the martial arts. In addition to
learning from you, I'd like to study with another teacher in order to
learn another style. What do you think of this idea?"
"The hunter who chases two rabbits, " answered the master, "catches
neither one."
(A Zen Story)
5. PHILOSOPHICAL TIPS & QUOTES
“Take heed: you do not find what you do not seek.” (English Proverb)
“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it
frankly and try another. But above all, try something. (Former US
President Franklin D. Roosevelt)
“Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with
what happens to him. (Aldous Huxley)
Next week we look at ‘Removing Ignorance”.
Bye for now.
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Courtesy:
www.wisdom-and-philosophy.com
***** o0o*****
Self Belief and Happiness
Happiness and Self Esteem
Happiness and Deception
The Self and Happiness
Looking and Finding
Happiness
Lonely and Unhappy
Happy and Self Improvement
Belief and Happiness
***** o0o*****
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