Happy Thoughts

How may I improved these two poems. Thanks.!?!?
Poem. Before you are to old. Another year has passed and we're all a little older. Last summer felt hotter and winter seems much colder. I rack my brain for happy thoughts, to put down on my pad, But lots of things that come to mind just make me kind of sad. There was a time not long ago when life was quite a blast. Now I fully understand about "Living in the Past". We used to go to friends' homes, football games and lunches. Now we go to therapy, to hospitals, and after-funeral brunches. We used to have hangovers, from parties that were gay. Now we suffer body aches and sleep the night away. We used to go out dining, and couldn't get our fill. Now we ask for doggie bags, come home and take a pill. We used to often travel to places near and far. Now we get backaches from riding in the car. We used to go out shopping for new clothing at the mall But, now we never bother... all the sizes are too small. That, my friend is how life is, and now my tale is told. So, enjoy each day and live it up... before you are too old!! Next , Poem. 2 set of prints. There's a pair of footprints waiting To be sketched into the sand The impressions of the future Of a woman and a man Underneath the mist of morning Where the sands are smooth and wet There will be of set of footprints On a day they won't forget Only God knows of the meeting Of two souls yet unaware That their steps will mark the beach Where love is waiting for them there God will etch their feet in time On ocean's fringe of ancient sand He has well prepared their destiny With artist knife in hand He will carve the footsteps as the two Tread lightly on their way Looking out upon the waters Just as God had planned the day When the mist rose in the morning And the sun shone from above A man a woman in the distance And God said, "Let there be love."

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Anxiety/Panic attacks (Khlonopin/Xanax)?
I've always had anxiety / panic attack issues since I was 16. It's usually always been self control with the now and again anti-depressant (i'd wheen off after a couple months and be fine) Last thursday I was out running some errands and all of a sudden got really dizzy/faint feeling and had to call my parents to drive me home. It wore off and I didn't pay much more attention to it. Then my left shoulder/upper chest started getting sore (It's been coming and going the past week) The next day after my parents had to pick me up, I woke up in what felt like a dream state. (I was currently on NO MEDICATIONS and hadn't been for MONTHS!) This dream state feeling continued 4 days, all day long. When i would try paying attention to something like someone talking to me, reading, work, school - i'd feel as if i've heard nothing they said. the dizzy feeling would come back and my heart would race. I had a constant feeling of something was going to happen, and begin getting afraid something would happen to me and no one would know what to do to help. The all day feeling of dizzy, or something was going to happen heart racing etc just wouldn't go away. I'd had some .25MG xanax put away my dr had given months prior for back up. Since the feeling wasn't going away and the panic feeling kept getting more intense I took ONE. a half hour later it was even worse, so i consulted a pharmacy to see if it would be safe to take another. They advised i could take upto 4 (that would equal 1mg) if it didnt help. Still being scared and panic feeling i did take one more .25MG an hour later the PANIC WAS FAR WORSE! I felt short of breath, felt as if something was wrong but didn't know what, faint, heart racing, scared to death for no apparent reason. I called my mom who at the time was an hour away from where i was staying. Told her to just talk to me about anything but not aboout the fact i was freaking out. My whole body begin shaking and I couldn't control it. With that, and all the other symtoms already mentioned I told her to meet me at the ER closest to us both. 30 minutes later we were there. I was in such a panic i couldn't sit down, I couldn't sign my own hospital agreement forms i wanted a drink, but wouldn't hardly swallow. The dr at the er asked if i wanted to hurt myself... i replied NO - i'm there for help I feel like i'm dying now why would i hurt myself i want it to STOP! He rx'ed 10 1MG xanaxs until I could goto my dr the following day but because i wasn't a suicide risk he couldn't do anything else. At the dr the next day, that doctor RX'ed .5MG Khlonopin 2x per day and wants to see me back in two weeks. Now my knowledge of medicine isn't great when it comes to what to take for panic like this. It was brought on by seemingly nothing, and i don't know how to stop it. I'm currently on an antibiotic for a cold, and terrified to take the khlonopin or xanax but the panic feeling is always under lying inside. I can't even seem to fuction without this weird "Panic" feeling. ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREAT! I'm going to a new DR on the 22nd and want to know what I should ask about, or for. I'm not depressed, but this panic is always a feeling i have (for the past week anyway) and at times it's EXTREME! I don't know what to do!! It's so scary! I honestly feel as if i'm dying. Let me just add , I HATE medicine, i've never liked knowing I have to take something but the way i'm been feeling the last week something has to give. I can't sleep, nothing. It gets worse when it's night but it's ALWAYS THERE from the moment I wake up. I don't need anyone to tell me to calm down, think happy thoughts. I'm not thinking BAD thoughts when this happens! it isn't something I'm enjoying and during one of these attacks it's hard enough to think to BREATH - please be kind. I'm unsure of what to do, but it's really taking a horrible toll on my life. I'm 23 just incase that makes a difference

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What can I do to enjoy life more?
I think I'm depressed or something, but I've taken anti-depressants, and none of them really help to make my dour perspective go away. I work at a job that, for the most part, I enjoy. I am currently under some minor financial strife, but I have felt this way even when I had lots of free money to spend going to restaurants or bowling and things. I have a great family. Good roommate. But I'm still an angry, miserable little cretin. I've tried medication, blowing money, forced smiles and happy thoughts- What can I do? I hate my life, even though it isn't so bad. I don't want to be this way.

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