Extremely Happy

What's wrong with me? Am I Schizophrenic?
For as long as I can remember, I've been hearing voices in my head. They criticize me, tell me what to do, or comment on the situation. I only found out that having voices in your head was weird, after reading something about Schizophrenia that said having voices in your head was one of the symptoms. The voices tell me I'll die if I do certain things, that my family members are going to die, or tell me to hurt or kill myself. I had always thought that this was normal, and that everyone had voices in their head. Then around age 10, the visual hallucinations started showing up. At first it was just people, so I thought I could see ghosts. Then, when I was 12, Clementine appeared. A sweet little girl who followed me around and said she was my sister. I never saw Clementine, but I heard her, and felt her when she grabbed my hand. She was about 7. I had been self harming since about age 3, but when I was 10 it got alot worse. When I was 3 I would bang my head against walls, pull my hair, and scratch myslef, but I didn't start cutting until age 10. I have always had problems concentrating. I'd be off in my own world during school, and be completely unaware of what the teacher was saying, or what was happening. One day in 5th grade, I zoned out for an entire school day. the problem got so bad, that this year 8th grade) I had to leave middle school to do online school. When I can actually focus on what I'm working on, I tend to do very well, but it's very hard for me to concentrate. People tell me that I always look sad. Even if I'm extremely happy, people ask if I'm mad at them, or if I'm about to cry. I don't want a disorder like this to ruin my life, because I love kids, and want to have a big family. This year, a little girl appeared to me, who said she was six years old, and that her name was Viatora Hemlen. She claimed to have died in the 1800s. At first she was nice. She would come into my room, and sit on my lap and tell me she loved me. Then she started telling me to hurt myself, and my family, and to kill myself, so I could be dead with her. I would always say no, and after that she'd say "Do you still love me?" and I'd always say "Of course I do." At first it was just Viatora. Then I met her sisters, Victoria, a 16 year old girl who had hung herself, Adabelle, a two year old. Then one day I asked Viatora if she was Satan, and she said "If I was would you still love me?" I said no. Then I rebuked Satan in the name of Jesus. After that she appears less, and never talks to me. My relationship with Viatora was very real. I heard her talk to me in my head, I could see her, and if she sat on my lap, grabbed my hand, I could feel it. People who I've just met, often think that I hate them, because of my facial expressions. During 7th grade, the hallucinations became too much to bare. I was seeing things that weren't really there, almost every second of the day. I wouldn't know they weren't real, until they disappeared, or if they were too unbelievable, like a penguin on a hill, or a flying dog. I told my parents, but they said it was just my imagination. I was cutting myself daily, but I've found the strength to stop a few months ago. I hear a large group of people having a conversation in the other room, when I'm home alone, hear people crying, screaming, calling my name, talking about me, or saying random things. These voices are in the outside world, instead of inside my head, but I am still constantly hearing the voices in my head. I often feel someone pulling, pushing, poking, or hurting me, and sometimes feel something crawling on my skin. I thought maybe something was wrong with me, so I did a little research and now I wonder if I might be schizophrenic. My mom, and a few family friends are praying for me, and it does help with the hallucinations. I've told my parents recently more in depth about what's happening to me, and they are going to get me help as soon as we get the money. Does this sound like schizophrenia? Is there anything else it could be? I won't use what you say as a diagnosis, I'm just looking for ideas. I've never done drugs of any kind. PLEASE HELP! To Josh, yes this is 100% true. And also, I am only recently considering the fact that Viatora, and Clementine, and the hallucinations may not be real, and still think that they might be real or paranormal. Also, I neglected saying anything about the voices for several years because they said I couldn't tell anyone about them, but I got sick of them tormenting me, and learned that not everyone had these voices, so I put this up, and putting this up was a big step for me. Plus, I didn't include lots of details becuase I didn't want to sound too crazy. Another thing that encouraged me to put this up is the fact that my Best Friend just got put into a Residential Mental hospital, where she has self harmed so much, that she has giant bandages and baind-aids all over her body, and has been so violent that she isn't even allowed to talk to any of the other patients. Her and I became good friends, because we both have hallucinations, and can talk about our experiences and tr ..... troubles together. I thought about how similar we are, and the fact that I could just as easily be locked up in some creepy mental hospital like she is, so I put this up hoping I can get help, before I end up like her. I do hope though, that this is something less serious than Schizophrenia, and the reson I put this up is too see if anyone had any other ideas about what might be wrong with me. ..... troubles together. I thought about how similar we are, and the fact that I could just as easily be locked up in some creepy mental hospital like she is, so I put this up hoping I can get help, before I end up like her. I do hope though, that this is something less serious than Schizophrenia, and the reson I put this up is too see if anyone had any other ideas about what might be wrong with me.

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I don't know how I feel anymore?
I've known my best friend for about 7months and we really are best friends. However lately when I see her I feel extremely happy and when I talk it's as I'd she's the only one around. Also sometimes I feel slightly jealous when she talks to others before me. Am I just a jealous best friend or something else?

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Does everyone feel like this?
One day feeling extremely happy, and then feeling totally downbeat the next few days. Spending time with friends makes me feel better but when I go home think about things I feel really down and I begin to think life is pointless and that I am going nowhere. Is this hormones? Does everyone feel like this or do I have a problem?

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