Divorce

Eastern Wisdom

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The Two-Headed Beast of Successful Habit Change
by guest
2 Feb 2012 at 9:20am
Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Tyler Tervooren of Advanced Riskology. I used to have a lot of bad habits. I still do, but I used to have a lot more. Here?s just a small sampling: I woke up late and went to bed early. I procrastinated on my most important work. I [...]
Create the Habit of Meditation, & the Zen Habits Premium Membership
by Leo
31 Jan 2012 at 3:03pm
Post written by Leo Babauta. It’s something I should have created a long time ago: the Zen Habits Premium Membership, and a mini-course that’s included with it called Create the Habit of Meditation. The membership is a monthly subscription of $19.99, but really it’s a commitment to changing your life, and the tools needed to [...]
Creating Silence from Chaos
by Leo
27 Jan 2012 at 3:20pm
Post written by Leo Babauta. We are often afraid of silence, because its emptiness feels idle, boring, unproductive, and scary. And so we fill our lives with chaos, noise, clutter. But silence can be lovely, and therapeutic, and powerful. It can be the remedy for our stress and the habits that crush us. If we [...]
The Habits That Crush Us
by Leo
23 Jan 2012 at 11:26am
‘Don’t panic.’ ~Douglas Adams Post written by Leo Babauta. Why is it that we cannot break the bad habits that stand in our way, crushing our desires to live a healthy life, be fit, simplify, be happier? How is it that our best intentions are nearly always beaten? We want to be focused and productive, [...]
Learning to Sit Alone, in a Quiet Empty Room
by Leo
17 Jan 2012 at 1:49pm
‘All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.’ ~Blaise Pascal Post written by Leo Babauta. Think about some of the problems of our daily lives, and how many of them would be eased if we could learn to sit alone, in a quiet empty room, with contentment. If [...]
Life as a Conscious Practice
by Leo
13 Jan 2012 at 9:15am
‘Everything is practice.’ ~Pele Post written by Leo Babauta. When we learn a martial art, or ballet, or gymnastics, or soccer ? we consciously practice movements in a deliberate way, repeatedly. By conscious, repeated practice, we become good at those movements. Our entire lives are like this, but we’re often less conscious of the practice. [...]
Your Top 10 Clutter Questions, Answered
by Leo
11 Jan 2012 at 11:33am
Post written by Leo Babauta. Decluttering is a skill that you learn with practice, just like any skill. And just like other skills, there are many little questions and problems you need answered and solved as you get started. Those of you taking the Clutterfat Challenge this month are facing these problems, and I’m here [...]
Clearing Your Life for a New Year
by Leo
9 Jan 2012 at 12:55pm
Post written by Leo Babauta. Every January, people rush out and get a gym membership, set a list of goals or resolutions, and get ready to take on a new year of frenetic activity. Unfortunately, we don’t often clear space to make room for all this new stuff. The beginning of the year is a [...]
How to Tackle Your Clutter
by Leo
6 Jan 2012 at 12:19pm
Post written by Leo Babauta. So you’ve been putting off tackling your clutter for months, maybe even years. Papers pile up on a counter, shelves are crammed full of books and magazines and other things, closets are stuffed to the point of spillage, clothes pile up on the floor or furniture, boxes and furniture and [...]
How to Have the Best Year of Your Life (without Setting a Single Goal)
by guest
5 Jan 2012 at 9:15am
Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Jeff Goins of Goins, Writer. This new year, do something different: stop setting goals. If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, then making resolutions for another year is a sure-fire way to drive yourself crazy. I did [...]


Divorce

Here is your Tuesday STORY on: SELF DEVELOPMENT: Practice Makes Perfect! If we were an artist or an athlete, we could not expect to reach the top of our profession without practicing. To introduce good habits we need to practice them. As a consequence we become better with practice. This suggestion is nothing new, but we don't always apply these principles to our own life. We may apply it with reference to education from school, college or our workplace, but rarely will we practice to self develop the aspects of our mind related to the growth and development of wisdom. The very fact that you are reading this would suggest you are aiming to put that very observation and possible frailty correct. However we must not tap ourselves on the back just yet. QUOTE: "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." (Dr. Martin Luther King Jnr). An athlete would see the results of practice in the next race he ran. An artist would see the benefits in the next sale of his painting. A person who practices wisdom cannot see the results so readily. Yet be assured the value is enormous. The lady in the next story had a belief, a faith and a determination that her perseverance would benefit her personally. If you believe you will benefit from greater wisdom remember this story... DEPEND ON MIRACLES One Sunday morning I heard my minister say if you want result from prayer, pray for thirty days without ceasing. I didn't know why it was thirty days, but I was willing to give it a try. The following became my daily prayer: I am available, Lord, to be used by You each day. Guide me, precious Lord, and lead me in what I say and do. May my words and actions be a witness that You are living in me. To the one that is lonely, may I be a friend. To those with heavy burdens, help me to meet their needs. Lord, I do not want fame or fortune. My prayer is that You will use me to glorify your name. I know I don't have much to offer, but I will give You my all. Guide me to be what You want me to be. Amen On the twenty-first day of this prayer, CPR took on a new meaning for me. I was working an extremely busy twelve-hour night shift in Labour and Delivery. I had just sat down for my first break when a phone call came from my friend working in the Emergency Room. I barely recognized her urgent voice. An eighteen-year-old boy had been brought to the ER for alcohol and drug overdose. The young man was very close to death and they had done all they could do to help him. The father of this boy was requesting a priest or minister and they were having difficulty locating one that could come to the ER quickly. My friend stated, "We know you're a Christian and we need you to come and try to comfort this father. Please help." Reluctantly, I said I would come down. As I waited for the elevator my thoughts became very judgmental and frustration welled up inside me. Then I remembered the prayer I'd been praying. I walked into the ER and approached the father. Taking his hand, I silently led him to the chapel. Before I could even say, "I am not a minister, " this six-foot, two-hundred-twenty-pound man sank into the chair and became a broken hearted child. Through his non-stop sobbing he spoke, "Christian, pray for Raymond. I remember the first time I held my boy. I felt so proud and I just kept saying, 'I have a son.' As the years passed those tiny feet became bigger and walked away from his family's love and entered a strange, hardened, and destructive world. Tonight, too much alcohol and an overdose of drugs are taking his life. It's as though he wants to rebel against everything his family stood for. He knew what he was doing was wrong. Sometimes he seemed so afraid, but he wouldn't stop. Now it is too late. Christian, you have to pray for Raymond." Those large hands trembled in mine and as I looked into his eyes, I mourned with him. Silence fell between us, as I searched for the words that would comfort this crumbling tower of a man. I felt so inadequate. I wanted to scream, "Lord it has only been twenty-one days since I began that prayer! I am not ready for this!" Time was running out and I knew I couldn't stall any longer. I clutched his hands, now wet with tears, and began to pray. The words came easy, much to my surprise. I finished praying with him and went to Raymond's bedside. I took his cold, lifeless hand and once again began to pray. "Lord I am asking for a miracle and I know You can do it." I stayed with them both until Raymond was taken to Intensive Care. I visited Raymond on a daily basis and continued to pray for him. Eight days passed with little improvement. On the ninth day I entered the ICU and a miracle had taken place. Raymond was awake and talking with his father. CPR had taken on a new meaning for me: "Christian Pray for Raymond". As I left the ICU with tears falling down my face, I realized, today is the 30th day of my prayer. Now I not only believe in miracles, I depend on them. (Author Unknown). QUOTE: "A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug." (Patricia Neal).


Is it acceptable to approach a woman and simply ask her out?
I'm in a HUGE rut... divorced for 2 years, gun shy, and havent so much as went out on a date. I simply dont know how to meet people. I'm in good shape, look far younger than I am (38), and I'm not all that bad looking either. I just dont talk to people i dont know. I'm trying to smile at strangers now and even comment on things but I have no idea what to do to be honest. Askmen had an article about just walking up to someone and telling them you're interested in them and asking for their number... That's odd to me. I dont go to bars, work with kids (and don't plan on ever dating their moms).

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I need some advice on an awkward situation?
My son has a huge crush on the babysitter. He is five years old and it is nothing more than a childhood crush. He plays flag football and recently started asking for the babysitter to come to his games because he want to show her how well he is doing in his league. He seems to think that if he takes her to the game and she sees how well he plays, she will fall in love with him. Well the problem is, i don't feel comfortable bringing the babysitter. We live in a really small town, where everyone knows everyone and i don't want my children to hear from their friends that their father is dating the babysitter, even though i would never actually date the babysitter because she is way to young and i just recently got my divorced papers finalized and don't feel ready to date yet. Should i just allow the babysitter to come and tell my children not to believe rumors or should i not allow it because it makes me uncomfortable? Thank you so much everyone.

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Boyfriend still texts his ex, I'm jealous, Aaah!?
I have been dating a wonderful man for about 6 months. He tells me I am wonderful, beautiful, lovely, intelligent, etc. He gets me dinner, we hang out, it's perfect. He's so intelligent and unlike any person I have met so far in life, which is what attracts me. I looked through his phone, he texts his ex girlfriends because he is still friends. They don't hang out, not that I know of, he says he doesn't see them. I told him I snooped his phone, he was upset at first, but not mad. More so hurt because I don't trust him. I questioned him further, "why did you text her?" "do you see her?" "why would you ask her to have lunch?" etc. I do by the way realize I am in the wrong for snopping, I do feel guilty. He answeres all my questions promptly, no creepy hesitance. He says they are his ex girlfriends for a reason, they are the ones I should be least worried about, he soothes me with more compliments, says he wouldn't do that to me because he loves me. He said he would stop talking to them. I should be pleased right? Well I am woman, hear me roar, I am not pleased. He put a lock on his phone, because yep I tried to snoop again because obviously my brain is insane. I explained to him that I am worried (I'm recently divorced, so I'm mistrusting because I have been burned in the past) he understands my concerns, he feels jealous at times too. We've never had the "past talk" oh you dated who, why and why'd you dump them, etc. He refuses to talk about his past exes because it's what he deems unnecessary which is what spooked me in the first place. Really, no explanations, and he still is friends with them (my exes are enemies who have been banished far away from my life) I just don't understand why he needs to text them and facebook friend them,etc. I don't do that, I avoid my male friends who hit on me, exes and any other men that I feel would create uncomfortable situations for him. I love him very much, he's awesome, more than I can put in words. I realize I am wounded but that doesn't give me the right to be nutso about his texts, etc. It's just I'm worried about losing him. What can I do to be more confident? more assured? i don't want to pester him with accussing questions, for I fear he will tire of it. I want to trust him, but how to do it? help me, I'm in love and I'd like to stay that way, oh yeah and not be so paranoid(aah!) Thanks for your time advisors!!

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Tammy Wynette - DIVORCE

13 Mar 2007 at 6:24pm


JK Divorce Entrance Dance

29 Jul 2009 at 11:39pm


DIVORCE tammy wynette

9 Apr 2008 at 6:03pm



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Can someone explain how people who divorce can still remain "close friends"?

12 Nov 2011 at 10:14pm  OK, probably people are gonna think I'm too rigid and old fashioned, but I honestly don't get how two people who get divorced can remain "close friends." I mean, when I have broken up with someone, it was because we had terrible conflicts where we could not find common grou