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The Two-Headed Beast of Successful Habit Change
by guest
2 Feb 2012 at 9:20am
Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Tyler Tervooren of Advanced Riskology. I used to have a lot of bad habits. I still do, but I used to have a lot more. Here?s just a small sampling: I woke up late and went to bed early. I procrastinated on my most important work. I [...]
Create the Habit of Meditation, & the Zen Habits Premium Membership
by Leo
31 Jan 2012 at 3:03pm
Post written by Leo Babauta. It’s something I should have created a long time ago: the Zen Habits Premium Membership, and a mini-course that’s included with it called Create the Habit of Meditation. The membership is a monthly subscription of $19.99, but really it’s a commitment to changing your life, and the tools needed to [...]
Creating Silence from Chaos
by Leo
27 Jan 2012 at 3:20pm
Post written by Leo Babauta. We are often afraid of silence, because its emptiness feels idle, boring, unproductive, and scary. And so we fill our lives with chaos, noise, clutter. But silence can be lovely, and therapeutic, and powerful. It can be the remedy for our stress and the habits that crush us. If we [...]
The Habits That Crush Us
by Leo
23 Jan 2012 at 11:26am
‘Don’t panic.’ ~Douglas Adams Post written by Leo Babauta. Why is it that we cannot break the bad habits that stand in our way, crushing our desires to live a healthy life, be fit, simplify, be happier? How is it that our best intentions are nearly always beaten? We want to be focused and productive, [...]
Learning to Sit Alone, in a Quiet Empty Room
by Leo
17 Jan 2012 at 1:49pm
‘All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.’ ~Blaise Pascal Post written by Leo Babauta. Think about some of the problems of our daily lives, and how many of them would be eased if we could learn to sit alone, in a quiet empty room, with contentment. If [...]
Life as a Conscious Practice
by Leo
13 Jan 2012 at 9:15am
‘Everything is practice.’ ~Pele Post written by Leo Babauta. When we learn a martial art, or ballet, or gymnastics, or soccer ? we consciously practice movements in a deliberate way, repeatedly. By conscious, repeated practice, we become good at those movements. Our entire lives are like this, but we’re often less conscious of the practice. [...]
Your Top 10 Clutter Questions, Answered
by Leo
11 Jan 2012 at 11:33am
Post written by Leo Babauta. Decluttering is a skill that you learn with practice, just like any skill. And just like other skills, there are many little questions and problems you need answered and solved as you get started. Those of you taking the Clutterfat Challenge this month are facing these problems, and I’m here [...]
Clearing Your Life for a New Year
by Leo
9 Jan 2012 at 12:55pm
Post written by Leo Babauta. Every January, people rush out and get a gym membership, set a list of goals or resolutions, and get ready to take on a new year of frenetic activity. Unfortunately, we don’t often clear space to make room for all this new stuff. The beginning of the year is a [...]
How to Tackle Your Clutter
by Leo
6 Jan 2012 at 12:19pm
Post written by Leo Babauta. So you’ve been putting off tackling your clutter for months, maybe even years. Papers pile up on a counter, shelves are crammed full of books and magazines and other things, closets are stuffed to the point of spillage, clothes pile up on the floor or furniture, boxes and furniture and [...]
How to Have the Best Year of Your Life (without Setting a Single Goal)
by guest
5 Jan 2012 at 9:15am
Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Jeff Goins of Goins, Writer. This new year, do something different: stop setting goals. If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, then making resolutions for another year is a sure-fire way to drive yourself crazy. I did [...]


Counselor

Here is your Friday STORY on: HAPPINESS: Happiness is having what you really want, or is it? Or is it allowing OTHERS to have what they really want? To WANT happiness yourself is fine, but it is how you achieve it or plan it that really counts. It is not the destination that is important but the journey. If you were to plan to travel to your promised land to find happiness, you are instantly limiting yourself to no further happiness until you arrive. It is as EQUALLY important to allow happiness to arise upon the journey. Notice the word ALLOW and how integral that word is to those first few paragraphs. Don't restrict or confine; allow! Today's story is an amusing look, but nonetheless loaded with ALLOWING, which brings happiness. Please enjoy... WHAT WOMEN REALLY WANT Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So the monarch offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men and the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch--only she would know the answer. The price would be high; the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price first: The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified: She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises... etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden. Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question thus: What a woman really wants is to be in charge of her own life. Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighbouring monarch granted Arthur total freedom. What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display, and generally made everyone very uncomfortable. The honeymoon hour approached. Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But what a sight awaited him! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him! The astounded Gawain asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she'd appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible, deformed self half the time, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he want her to be during the day, and which during the night? What a cruel question! Gawain pondered his predicament. During the day she would be a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman with whom to enjoy many intimate moments? What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until you've made your own choice. * * * * * * * * Noble Gawain replied . . . . . that he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life. Is there a moral here? . . . . . . . . . Certainly: Treat your woman (guys) with total respect (and love) and like the queen she is or should be, and watch how beautiful she will be. Or, (on the other hand): If your woman doesn't get her own way, . . . . things are going to get ugly! : ) (Unknown Author) QUOTE: "I believe the greater handicap, the greater the triumph.' (John H. Johnson)


Can I take American Sign Language while still learning French?
I'm currently a sophomore and I'm taking French 2. I'm planning to do French 3 my Junior Year and then AP French my Senior Year. There's however on open class for my Junior year and so I thought about taking ASL for fun, and well because it seems interesting to me. Will my counselor tell me that I can't take two languages at the same time? How do I convince her to let me take French 3 & ASL. I really want to make useful of these languages.

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What can I do to help her? Any advice would be great.?
So a little background: I've been dating this girl for almost a year, we were friends before. I knew she had problems of her own but not to the degree in which I know now. My girlfriend has some problems. She suffers from depression, anxiety, and mood swings. She gets insecure and avoids social events with many people. Last night she told me that she started to cut again. She dealt with suicidal thoughts and self harm during the past few years (before we started going out) and she's been doing well lately. I asked her why she did that and she didn't really have a reason. I asked her to stop, to which she said that she would, and I told her to think of a good reason to stop for herself and that I shouldn't be the reason. To this she replied that she couldn't think of a reason, which bothered me greatly. She is currently seeing a guidance counselor and taking medication. I take out hours of my day from studying and sleeping to talk to her and help her with her problems. (I end up going to sleep at 1-3am depending on the day) And there are days in which her mood makes me feel like complete and utter crap. And to be honest, don't know if I can be with her if she starts to get worse. I know this sounds horrible but I've been with her through so many things, the good, the bad and the ugly. I want to help her but handling all of this and her problems takes a toll on me. Is there anything I can do to help? I really want to help her. And advice would be greatly appreciated. I just don't want her to continue to self harm or do anything else that could really hurt her.

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should i tell my friend's parents about this or let it go?
my friend and her friend were out drinking. It was like 2 AM and they get approached on a busy street by two guys, one of whom immediately started hitting on my friend. She, being drunk, said to one of the guys "sure we can go back to your apartment together!" Anyway, the guys (both in their 30s) gave each other smug glances and then my one of them had sex with my friend within ten minutes. Was there something wrong with this situation/ why were they so smug? (and she isn't a ho, this was her first time) Then this happened: he took pics of her picked her up, carried her, and had sex with her against a wall bit her she had been drinking he never asked consent for specific sex acts esp when she was like bledding he ws like 34 and she's 18 this was her first time wouldnt let her leave after he also grabbed her hand and put it down his pants he told her to give him oral without asking he told her to flash his friend he just kind of got on top of her and told her what to do to him they're NOT in a relationship (they're strangers After this happened, she dropped out of school, became depressed, started self harming, tried to kill herself and ended up in the psych ward many times. I've tried to get her to see a counselor for rape and abuse, but she's still on the edge. I don't think this was ok for him to do to her. It seems abusive. I told my t about it and he said it was a really degrading assault.

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